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Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn’t beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them.

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I have a confession to make: I haven’t recorded a new voicemail greeting since 2014. In the past four years, I (hopefully) have become more articulate, poised, and self-assured. But hear my voicemail recording, and you’d think I was still new to the work world, a little unsure of myself — and probably not an authority. Obviously I need toupdate it. And if you haven’t changed your voicemail greeting in over a year, you’re likely in the same boat. After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever’s listening to it to continue the relationship. A relatively unprofessional one — like mine, for instance — does the opposite: It encourages prospects, recruiters, and potential connections to run in the other direction. With that in mind, I’ve written 18 unique voicemail greetings for every situation. Pick your favorite, practice a few times, then record your new voicemail.
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12. Hi, this is [your name]. I’m away from my phone at the moment, but leave a message after the tone so I can get back in touch later today.
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As you look to update your script, here are a few questions to ask: Will your voicemail greeting be funny, so your callers think your business is fun? Do you want the tone to be more professional, so it gives callers the impression you only work with Fortune 500 companies? Do you want to record a brief message, or will a more detailed message be helpful? Knowing these answers will help you craft a personal voicemail greeting unique to your company.
Different businesses may require different types of greetings. This is the ultimate list that can work for a wide array of company messages.

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Leave no doors of opportunity for them. Comedy Calls is a free prank calling website, brought to you by the creators of The Rejection Hotline Whether you are dealing with frustrated callers, want to further promote your business, or have important info to share, here are the top 8 voicemail greetings and sample voicemail scripts your business should consider.

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What you do not want to do is say your phone number so quickly that the person has to listen to your voicemail multiple times to try and figure out your phone number. We have all gotten those annoying voicemail messages where the person said their phone number so quickly that we had to listen to their message several times to figure out their phone number. Don't be that jerk who leaves their phone number so fast that the other person has to listen to your message over and over to try and figure out what your phone number is.

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    Funny Voicemail Greetings. Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? If so, scroll for some really funny voice-mail greetings, which will surely bring a smile on your, as well as your caller's face.
    2. Interactive Voice Response (IVR) Greeting. The greeting callers hear when they enter your IVR. Sample Scripts: “For English press 1. Para Español presione el número 2.”

  • sample small business voicemail greetings

    Hi, you've reached the home of George Ledec. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional.

    “I don’t know who you are but if you don’t let my daughter go now, I will find you; I will kill you. Please leave a message.”
    Listing Results Funny Cell Phone Answering Messages 47 Results Phone number Mobile phone Contact us Customer service

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    You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments

    6. Voicemail Greetings For The Holidays. Hi, you’ve reached (insert name and title) at (insert company.) We’ve taken this time to be with our family’s and stuff our bellies.
    Remember, your professional voicemail greeting recording can be an excellent opportunity to put your best foot forward with customers and promote your business in the process. We have collected 10 of the best voicemail greetings for business applications that we could find.

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    I know you're angry because I never answer your phone.So, to fix this, I think you guys should give me a birthday present: cell phone..(Make a little noise in the background ).Hi, you are already at your friend's house.

    You can definitely convert your home, office, or cell phone greetings that show a bit of your unique personality. Depending on what type of calls come in and where you’re receiving them, you too can have fun selecting serious, unique, interesting, or funny voicemail greetings.
    About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food. Tags: Behavior, Cats And Tech, Catster Home, Humor, Lists, Offbeat Subscribe View Sep 21 Sep 20 Sep 17 Sep 15 Load More Follow on Instagram Annie Butler Shirreffs Jackie Brown Shopping Guide Advertise Events Photo Booth Contact the Editors Meet the Team Subscribe My Account Pay My Bill Customer Service Privacy Policy DO NOT SELL MY INFORMATION

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8. “Phone tag, you’re it.” Remember that childhood game of tag, you’re it? It’s the same with this phrase, but it is slightly changed. It sounds best when you want to create a playful or mischievous vibe.

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Laugh your socks off at funny jokes, funny quotes, funny memes and funny YouTube videos. Art & EntertainmentAutomobilesBeauty & FashionGadgets & GizmosHealth & FitnessHome & LivingParenting & FamilySocietyTravelQuotes Fun voicemail messages are an interesting way to infuse some humor and wit in your day-to-day activities. Check out some very interesting voicemail greetings that we have provided for you.

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This page is dedicated to the best of what the net has to offer in terms of funny and witty voicemail messages! Impersonations and much more... voicemail messages that are certainly not professional, but entertaining and fun! Enjoy!

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The right way to leave your phone number is to start saying your phone number with your area code and then take a 2-3 second pause while the person listening to your voicemail message gets a pen and paper. Then, continue with the next 3 digits, make another 2 second pause, and then say the last 4 digits. Then, slowly repeat your phone number again.

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