(Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep
Never mind the fact that what she described was the content of LITERALLY EVERY VOICE MAIL IN HISTORY. Name, hello, please call back. Not really a boatload of charm on display. To fail this test, a guy would have to leave a message that said: 'No greeting. This is man. I don't remember you. End communication. — Aziz Ansari Only good questions deserve good answers. — Oscar Wilde Killing time is not murder, it is suicide. — Charles A. Beard But after being fired at once or twice, The ear becomes more Irish, and less nice. — Robert Byron My worst days are still pretty good days. That's something I might lose in the moment sometimes, but I have a pretty good grasp of it. — Andy Roddick You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour. — Jim Rohn There is much to discover that's not on the back cover! — E.A. Bucchianeri I certainly think we have an emergency in media, and we gotta fix it. — Phil Donahue Famous Authors Anthony Jay Sayings Christine Grey Sayings Diana Fitts Sayings Dr. David Vik Sayings H.O. Charles Sayings Hattie Carnegie Sayings Larry Wilmore Sayings Nikolay Karamzin Sayings Phil Beadle Sayings Vernon L. Smith Sayings Popular Topics Feeling Alone Tumblr Sayings Those Who Serve Our Country Sayings Firefly Lane Book Sayings Funny Asdf Sayings Funny Going Away Movie Sayings Negative Feedbacks Sayings Cuba Gooding Jr Sayings Anarchism's Sayings Broiling Sayings Strange Finnish Sayings Copyright © 2021 Great Sayings. All Rights Reserved. - Sitemap
