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Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now.

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Website: https://www.onsip.com/voip-resources/smb-tips/business-voicemail-greetings-5-sample-scripts .

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Voicemail greetings are not memorable. Most of them are exactly the same and therefore, provide no surprise to the person on the other end of the line. When people see, hear and experience the expected, they tend to forget it very quickly. Funny voicemail greetings give your callers a sense of shock. That shock is not easily forgotten. Not only will this encourage sharing and engagement (which I will get to later), but it will also give you a distinct advantage when you return the call.
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Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, Gosh how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
4. “What the hell do you want?” Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this.

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Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone]. Due to the current pandemic, our team members are working remotely and are available [Monday through Friday from 9am to 7pm Eastern Standard Time]. Please leave a message with your name, number, and how we can serve you. We will respond as promptly as possible. Thank you for your patience during this unprecedented time. Let’s get through this together. Stay safe and well.

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Jodi R.R. Smith from Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting and author of From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Woman and From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Man agrees that veterinary medicine is a profession where phone calls remain important and necessary. If you need to leave a voice mail message for a client, Smith offers these ideas on how to make the most of your message.

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    The History of the Answering Machine » bit.ly/39sgo7a 88 Creative Answering Machine Messages » bit.ly/3whSrZI 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages » bit.ly/3ub17iY

    Help CFC Save the World In the top 200 of over 44,000 teams. All you need is a computer. Now folding with the help of Blazer6. taper, May 26, 2003 "Oh my God, the ringing, THE RINGING! Please, STOP THE RINGING!!! AAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!!!!" *beep* WillJ, May 26, 2003 Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 10,278 Location: Atlanta, former CSA Irish Caesar, May 28, 2003 Joined: Feb 16, 2003 Messages: 3,098 Location: -4 GMT I don't feel like answering the phone right now. If you leave a message maybe I'll get back to you...or maybe I won't. If you don't hear from me in 72 hours, I decided not to return your call. YNCS, May 28, 2003 Log in with Facebook Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes > Search Forums Recent Posts Account Upgrades Civ6 Civ5 Civ4 Civ3 Civ2 Civ1 Modiki Members Notable Members Current Visitors Recent Activity New Profile Posts Search titles only Posted by Member: Newer Than: Search this thread only Search this forum only Display results as threads Style Civilization VI Language English (US) Contact Us Help Home Top RSS Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. If you are not Redirected Please Click Here to Continue to the Answering Machine Messages
    Hey, who’s this? I’d actually pick up, but my phone is staring at me. OMG! I just saw it wink!

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    Follow Us: Some examples of professional voicemail greetings are the basic greeting, the out-of-office greeting, the time-sensitive greeting and the additional information greeting. A basic greeting is simple, standard and to the point. Here's an example using fictional personal information: "Hi, this is Adam Gordon, Senior Vice President at

    Your phone system can be a powerful marketing tool for your business, and that includes your voicemail greeting. If you want to utilize this opportunity to throw in a quick humblebrag and keep callers informed of your awards and accolades, there are a few best practices, you should follow. First, keep the self-promotion brief and appropriately placed within your voicemail message. Don’t promote yourself and your products/services in the same greeting, and finally, only include current achievements in your business voicemail greeting.
    Here are some great examples of professional voicemail greetings that you can use in your business!

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    Katharine Hepburn’s iconic and feisty voice goes down in history and can add a bit of moxie to your voicemail greeting. Click here to hear how Hepburn brings these words to life.

    Along the way, voice mail usage also suffered significant drops. People not only stopped leaving voice mail messages, they stopped listening to voice mail messages received. In 2012 Vonage, a voice over Internet Protocol (IP) carrier, tracked an 8 percent drop in voice mails left for users. Even worse, Vonage saw a 14 percent drop in people even bothering to listen to voice mail messages others left for them. The company has not released updated stats, but I’d assume the decline continues five years later.
    What kind of company do you run? A law firm may prefer more formal business voicemail greetings than a trendy retail store, for example.

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    So, if you’re looking for a fun way to spice up your personal telephone’s outgoing message, we have listed 10 celebrities that have contributed to funny voicemail greetings for your callers’ amusement.

    Just kidding. Do you know of a funnier voice message? Leave it in the comments below! Author: Michael C Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. Post Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published.While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude.
    No20: Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

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– Hi, this is (name). I’m sorry I cannot take your call right now. Please leave a detailed message after the tone along with your name and telephone number. I will give you a call as soon as I return. Thank you.

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6. I can’t come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don’t remember. I’d appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.

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– Hi, this is (name). I’m sorry I cannot take your call right now. Please leave a detailed message after the tone along with your name and telephone number. I will give you a call as soon as I return. Thank you.

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