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proper professional voicemail greetings

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3. The Musical Greetings. (To the tune of Barney the Dinosaur’s “I Love You”) I called you, you called me, we are a calling family, apparently. Leave a message! .

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7. 605–475–6958: How to decide whether you are sober. Are you unable to tell whether you are drunk or sober? (that should be a hint in itself.) Feel free to enlist the help of the Sobriety Test hotline.
The number you have xxx-xxxx (your number) has been changed, the new number is xxx-xxxx (again, your number). CULATA!

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Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
Obviously the women had taken umbrage to his crashing into them and the rest of this street gang then jumped out of the car; continuing their assault:

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IT STARTED OUT just like any normal day for … let’s call him Jimmy* … but little did he know he was destined to witness a group of old ladies beat up a man who had just crashed into them, with pepper spray, an umbrella and a bible!

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When unable to answer the phone, a voicemail message can be important. Below are examples of what to say in a voicemail message. Whether recording the message for a personal phone or a business line, these ideas will help.

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    1. [FREE] Pre Recorded Answering Machine Messages | HOT. Take a look at these original greetings that will make your friends and family call again and again.

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    A professional voicemail greeting is a recorded message that welcomes callers to your business when no one is available to pick up the call. For a polished call experience, the greeting should reflect who the client is calling – whether a general business number, department, team, or individual – and when the customer can expect the call to be returned.

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    The description reproduced above sets up the following scenario: While an operations manager employed by a restaurant (variously claimed to be Jack in the Box, McDonald’s, Burger King, or some other fast food chain) is commuting to the

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    “This is not a voice-mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.”

    File Name: 911.wav File Size: 499 KB Text: "Thank you for calling 911. All of our offices are busy right now, please call back later .." File Name: afterlife.wav File Size: 611 KB Text: "Welcom to the afterlife voice mail system, if you are trying to reach heaven .." File Name: altzheimers.wav
    Website: http://allowe.com/laughs/book/88 Creative Answering Machine Messages.htm

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    Already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up and after we will tell each other everything.

    Download your FREE Phorest Two-Pager Cheat Sheet for Voicemail & Hold The Line greeting!
    If you started your company more than a year ago, it’s probably time to change your voicemail script. Your recording should match the brand, tone, and voice of your company — just as though a caller were speaking to a member of your team.

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You’re growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.

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No15: Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.

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Home / Uncategorized / 15 Hilariously Funny Voicemail Ideas – Make Yours Like These

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Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call.

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