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4. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

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Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Sam can't come to the phone right now because he's spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera. .

7 best business voicemail greetings

"Hey, what you doin'? Same here. Just Kidding, leave a message and call back. Bye!"
ā€œSo I start by talking as if I answered the phone, like: ā€˜Hello? Itā€™s Tom, is anyone there?ā€™ā€ Fulton eagerly explained, unaware that no one would ever stay on the line long enough to hear the voicemail he spent his entire Sunday crafting. ā€œBut thatā€™s the joke ā€” itā€™s just a message! Whoever is calling will be talking to no one,ā€ Fulton added, failing to recognize that he was actually talking to no one since his message would never be played back by anyone under any circumstances.

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I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
-This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.

business voicemail greetings script

Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought weā€™d continue the hilarity with even more of your favorite greetings that you can use. Hereā€™s the latest batch: I have nothing to say to you. So leave a message. ā€œThink fast!ā€ *beep* Hi, youā€™ve reached _____.

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Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. Allow him to greet your callers and prompt them to leave a message for you. I wish I could tell you that Morgan Freeman was available to take your call. I wish I could tell you that, but this is no fairytale world. Morgan Freeman is gone now; to where I cannot say. Click here to experience this voicemail message on Youtube. Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording.

  • funny missed call greetings

    Fiverr is a popular freelance service anyone can use to get creative work ā€” in this case, a personalized voicemail greeting. On Fiverr, you first check out the freelancerā€™s work samples to evaluate whether theyā€™re a good fit for your company. We recommend reading feedback and reviews on various creatives, contacting potential freelancers with any questions you have, and browsing through various package options.

    Hello, we are unable to come to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number unless of course you are a salesman or trying to solicit money.
    Which is why, youā€™ve got to put a little bit of ā€œyouā€ when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldnā€™t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message. Here are Best witty voice mail greetings ideas: My ass and I are out for a walk.

  • how to leave a nice voice message

    ā€œYouā€™ve reached Berniceā€™s phone. Iā€™m getting a tooth pulled on TuesdayĀ and donā€™t feel like talking. In fact, Iā€™ll probably sleep for about four days after the procedure. Tooth resorption is not a joke, friends. Ainā€™t nobody got time for that. Let your human brush your damn teeth, even if it feels like youā€™re about to DIE by way of tiny toothbrush. Also, Iā€™ll be accepting gifts of gravy in the days following the extraction.ā€

    Hello, this is your local zoo. Do you like animals? We are experiencing severe problems with hot water. Would you be so kind as to allow us to bring our elephants over to your bathroom for a shower? (The most common response: "Well, sure, but my neighbor's bathroom is bigger and better equipped to handle elephants.")
    Iā€™ve got you covered. Iā€™ve compiled some of the best voicemail greetings you can use for virtually any situation youā€™ll come across.

  • sample professional voicemail greetings

    ā€œIn case you have forgotten, this is a machine ā€“ my owner does not want siding, the newspaper, or the carpets cleaned. He donates to charity through its office and do not want their picture taken. If youā€™re still with me, leave a message and weā€™ll see if he calls you back.ā€

    You talk. I'm sorry I didn't answer your call. I want to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. He could record the following: Hi! This is John Smith.
    Already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up after and we tell each other everything.

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    Already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up and after we will tell each other everything.

    Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? If so, scroll for some really funny voice-mail greetings, which will surely bring a smile on your, as well as your callerā€™s face.
    Laugh as you watch how Mr. Neesonā€™s fan got him to record a custom voicemail greeting here.

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funny voicemail greetings script

I am on H1 & my H1 (& visa stamping) expires in Apr 2009. My wife has H4 stamped on her passport until Apr 2009. My wife got her H1 approved in 2008 lottery with permit to start work starting October Ist, 2008. We are planning to take cruise to Bermuda from sep 28-oct 5. I just wanted to know , a) will her H4 stamping be expired on October 5, 2008 , as her H1 will become effective? c) or if someone knows whether she needs a valid visa stamping in accordance with her latest immigration status (h1 in this case on oct 5 , 2008) when returning to US in cruise.

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Never mind the fact that what she described was the content of LITERALLY EVERY VOICE MAIL IN HISTORY. Name, hello, please call back. Not really a boatload of charm on display. To fail this test, a guy would have to leave a message that said: 'No greeting. This is man. I don't remember you. End communication. ā€” Aziz Ansari An obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face." | Privacy Policy | About Us | Contact Us | Sitemap | Famous Quotes & Sayings / Funny Voicemail Quotes List of top 12 famous quotes and sayings about funny voicemail to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs. Top 12 Funny Voicemail Quotes

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6 hours agoĀ Ā· Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. the way I send all of your calls straight to voicemail. 04:42 PM - 12 Sep 2012 i can crank with my hand to create power to

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