funny voicemail jokes

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Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY! They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he's still out there somewhere. So, leave your name and number and tell us where you saw Elvis!
3. (858) 651-5050: Beautiful phrases. When looking for random phone numbers to call, it does not get funkier than this one. Dialing this line allows you to listen to what sounds like the most well-thought poem ever written.
41. Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. Leave a message so we can call you back as soon as our team has a spare moment.
You need to use Garageband on the mac to turn the mp3 into an m4r file (ringtone) then sync it to your phone from your mac, if you don't own Garageband a friend may be able to convert the file for you. If you could send me the file say via Dropbox and attach it to this thread I could convert and send it back to you. More Less. Jun 12, 2016 8:49 PM.
-This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when. !

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voice message examples funny

How are you doing?We must meet this weekend.How about I call you?...Hello....Hello....Who is this?Is anyone in line?....Road side cafe;You kill them, we cook them.Leave your order and we will be back.Sorry, I miss you.One of the reasons I can't make a phone call may be: a) I'm with my girl (laughs), B) I'm completely wasted and can't remember how to use the phone, or c) I just don't want to talk to you.

Click on the name of the website to access the page dedicated to entertaining voicemail messages.
9. “HELLO, OH No, the voices are back again!” This made me laugh too. Imagine how your fellow caller will laugh! Again, only your friends or people in other close circles will get you; otherwise, it is not a very friendly way to answer the phone call.
2. Personal Voicemail Greetings. Customer Support Representative Voicemail Greeting. Hello, you've reached [name] at [X company]. If you need help with [X reason] please contact [X person/X system] or [visit our website and send us an email].
“Hi, you’ve called [name] at [XYZ company]. I’m currently busy [hiking through a rainforest, exploring China, climbing Mount Peru etc.] and so I can’t take your call right now. I won’t be back in the office until [date] and I look forward to hearing from you then.
“Hey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway I’m about to give in my resignation right now. Please don’t call here again. Just kidding!

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how to record a personal voicemail greeting

The voicemail greeting is an important element of your business’ phone system because it is often the first impression of your business that customers will have. Creating a really good voicemail greeting is a unique opportunity that you can use to impress customers by putting your best face on, while increasing the chances that you’ll retain their business in those times when you can’t voicemail busy greeting example

“Good morning. You’ve reached the voicemail of [your name]. Today is [date]. Please leave me a message with your name and contact information. Oh, and here’s my motivational quote of the day: [read quote].”
8. The Professional Script. Some prospects need you to sound professional. All they want is a straightforward solution to their pain points.
Feel free to add a personal touch to make your voicemail message fun and interesting. Clients will feel reassured when they know their messages have been received and you will get back to them.
As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering machine... You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... You hear a beep...
“Hi, this is Craig. I waited here as long as I could for your call. Leave a message and I’ll get back with you soon. I know that each day you have a choice of many phone numbers and I appreciate you choosing mine. Have a great day.”

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sample of professional voicemail greetings

I love it! Every time I hear something like this and realize that there really are terrible sales people out there – doing stuff like this – it gives me huge encouragement. I’m sure I make mistakes, who doesn’t, but wow!!!

5. “GRANDPA! YOU ARE ALIVE!” The Wattpad rated this phrase as the funniest way to answer the phone on its website. Suppose if you get a call from your introvert friend, squeal happily as soon as he says hello.
I’m sorry, the number you have dialed is in working order. If you were expecting an error, please hang up and try another number.
Answering Machine Wav Sounds. Here you can find some of the funniest free answer machine messages from your favorite cartoon and movie celebrities. Download them to replace your standard answering machine message (leave a message after the tone, etc). Comical messages are a must to impress your friends on either your landline or mobile! 01 - Rap.
Creativity In Phone On Hold Messages “There are pros and cons,” explains Easy On Hold President Julie Cook. “We’ve never recommended a trivia-only script for messages on hold, but with hold times upwards of 5 to 6 minutes, a bit of creativity and fun can work. A …
"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!

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sample of business voicemail greetings

So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.

We hope you enjoyed these funny voicemail greetings! Since our business answering service is open 24 hours a day, you'll never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message. Funny msg ideas for friend. However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite. Leave a message.
4 Funny Voice Mail To jazz up your voice mail and put a bit of theater into it, you can take the quote from Samuel; "The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded." Say this in a powerful booming tone, and then add on in your regular voice "I can't come to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you."
Who is this?! How did you get this number?! If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me.
Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. Get a Professional sounding personal voicemail for your cell or home phone. I can voice the greeting, and then with your info I can place it on your phone or system. When your business is on your own personal cell phone, you need to sound professional when you can’t get to the phone funny greetings for your phone best funny voicemail funny voicemail greetings app Close Project funny greetings on the phone The Israelis make sure that they remain the only victims. — Suad Amiry One girl raved about a nice voicemail a guy had recently left her. I kindly requested she play it and heard this gem: 'Hey, Lydia. It's Sam. Just calling to say what's up. Gimme a ring when you get a chance.' Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for (your name), your message will be answered to in the order in which it was received, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me. I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital. 1. Hello and thank you for calling GetVoIP! We are closed today for the holiday, and will be back in the office tomorrow, Thursday the 14th. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, but expect a prompt response from us tomorrow! Happy holidays and have a great day. How to record or change your Android voicemail greeting in 10 simple steps. 1. Turn on your phone and launch the Phone app. Turn the power on for your phone. Then, tap the Phone app. 2. Open the dial pad. Tap the dial pad icon near the bottom of the screen to bring up your phone's dial pad. 3. Hey Jake, if I wanted to email you, I would’ve emailed you. It’s not like I forgot email existed until I heard your voice mail greeting and thought “Holy crap! TOTALLY forgot about that whole email thing! Let me hang up on this phone call and waste another 5 minutes sending you an email that would have taken me 20 seconds to speak.” best voicemail script for prospecting personal voicemail greeting messages funny voicemail quotes Close Project X