I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handi- work, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you’re from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
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We have added expanded forums for the new strategy games Humankind and Old World. Civilization's 30th Birthday Contest: Give Civ a Present, Get One Back! New Forums for Humankind and Old World 100 Of The Funniest Thing To Put On Your Answering Machine Theard Page 1 of 9 1 ← 2 3 4 5 6 → 9 Next > Joined: Apr 12, 2003 Messages: 45 Location: at my house Lets try to put 100 of the funniest thigs you can put on your answering machine. I can't think of any thing so somebody else start off, and links to web sites are ok. Chain n' Axe, May 22, 2003 Joined: Apr 10, 2003 Messages: 359 Location: Here " OH MY GOD PUT THE GUN DOWN! PLEASE PUT IT DOWN! BOOM!!!" *beep*
If you’re out of the office, a voicemail greeting will essentially act as the first line of communication between you and clients or potential clients. So of course, this could be a great opportunity to add a hint of personality, while of course still remaining as professional as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun with it!
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greetings examples of good voicemail greeting when i return your voice mail is currently closed for all. Every business aims for client satisfaction; however, busy schedules can often healthcare business professionals with air time must attend and every single client need. Sample Answering Machine Scripts Seven Best Voicemail Greetings for Your.
Hi there! This is my dog (10yrs old Lab-Staf-Mix) eating a goose neck. Sorry for the Fridge in the background. ... goose neck food horror Dog break chewing crack bones zombie intense Ceremony of the Unspeakable.mp3 - mp3 version Ceremony of the Unspeakable.mp3 - ogg version Ceremony of the Unspeakable.mp3 - waveform Ceremony of the Unspeakable.mp3 - spectrogram 175740.0
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4. HulloMail Smart Voicemail. HulloMail is among the best visual voicemail app for android 2018 offering advanced voicemail services with its simple and easy-to-use interface.
Be honest...you've been fooled by this one before, haven't you? It goes like this: riiiing, riiing, riiiing "Hey." "Hi, it's Juli what's up?" "Oh. I'm not here right now, leave me a message after the beep". There is actually very little I find more irritating than this voicemail, especially for business. Why do you want to fake out a business opportunity? This voicemail leaves callers feeling embarrassed and you looking foolish.
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One episode of The Simpsons has Homer and Marge buying a book about trying to invoke this trope, and end up trying to record a message together while reading out of it. It sort of goes without saying, but it ends up being So Unfunny It's Funny.. A season 2 episode had Homer calling Barney for bail, and initially gets an answering machine message sung to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
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whats a good personal voicemail greeting
No47: This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
Useless Facts [140+ Facts You Can Impress Your Friends]89 Church Bulletin Bloopers (to Make You Smile)Things to Ponder [66 hilarious things to ponder about!]21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) MessagesIf Microsoft Built Cars36 Stuff To Ponder [They are all weird and hilarious]17 Weird Library Reference Questions12 completely obvious and useless quotesCursed McDonald’s Fries CosplayEmployees must stop crying before returning to work
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professional.voicemail greeting
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The next step is very important and you need to get it right. Say your phone number two times very slowly so the person has enough time to write down your number as they are listening to your message the first time.
No3: Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
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What you need to record creative and funny voicemail greetings. Creative voicemail greetings are a terrific engagement and personalization tool for business. But to make them work, you need a business phone system that makes recording, tweaking, and uploading voicemail greetings simple. MightyCall provides such an answer for businesses.
My 12 y/o niece put on her cell phone message, "Leave your name and number. If I love you, I'll call you back." Although not earth-shatteringly funny, it was cute the way she said it. In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did... Thats probably good advice for a home phone, but at the same time, I don't think it applies to a cell phone really. I used to have a longer message aimed at keeping people from leaving messages ... but I hate getting voicemails for the most part. One summer I had my little cousin start singing take me out to the ball game, I cut him off after a few lines, but it was just my version of satire against parents who have their kids sing, and it was pretty funny.
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voicemail personal greeting
This is funny! I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.
Maralee McKee is dedicated to helping you become the person you most want to be and to live a confident, kind, and generous life! She is a contemporary etiquette, manners, and people skill expert and the founder of the prestigious Etiquette School of America. She's in the top one percent of experts in her field, and her etiquette skills blog is the most read in the United States. Maralee presents business etiquette seminars to corporations large and small and coaches individuals one-on-one virtually and in-person. Her book on how moms can teach their children to become the best version of themselves (Harvest House Publishing) earned the prestigious Mom’s Choice Gold Award for excellence in parenting books.
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Cash Me Outside. Donald Trump - Donate to the Wall. Thank You For Holding. Hillary - Delete My Emails. Pokemon Go.
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Parodying any government or secret service agency is also a great way to create funny voicemail messages. For instance, you could say, "Thank you for calling the Slovakian Consulate. All our diplomats are out changing lightbulbs, so at the sound of the tone, please leave your details and any international secret you may have for sale." Creating funny voicemail messages that sound like they are from the mafia, the FBI, the CIA, or even the IRS can be a cool way to greet your callers when you are not available.
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Once upon a time I was calling sellers back, I handed it off to my partner James in 2015, so I set the stage for that interaction so they don't expect to hear from my voice as the first call back by saying either I or my partner James, we'll call you back to discuss it with you. And then again, warm and fuzzy. You can decide what's best for you. Please share as many details about the property you would like to sell in your situation as you can.
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39. Hi, this is [your name]. I’m not at my desk right now, so leave a message and I’ll call you back within 24 hours.
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Get a Professional sounding personal voicemail for your cell or home phone. I can voice the greeting, and then with your info I can place it on your phone or system. When your business is on your own personal cell phone, you need to sound professional when you can’t get to the phone
No22: Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
Show off your pop culture knowledge and creativity when you take a famous movie quote and give it a cute relationship twist.
-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.
I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine? Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe you don't really exist. One way to find out is to leave a message, and if it's reality, I will call you back.
Obviously, I need to update it. And if you haven't changed your voicemail greeting in over a year, you're likely in the same boat.
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To set up voice mail, tap the Phone icon, tap the Voicemail icon and then "Greeting.". There are two options available: Default and Custom. If voice mail hasn't been set up previously on your phone, Default is selected, which means people will hear your wireless carrier's generic voice mail greeting when they call you.
That is the funniest voice mail I’ve ever heard. If that is a real voice mail I would say that rep needs some serious training. I work for a direct seed company and all of our work is over the telephone. Here is a sample of a voice mail that I might leave: “This is Mike with XXXX Seed. I’m calling for a couple of reasons: First of all I wanted to say thanks for your business and support. Also, I wanted to find out how your planting season is going and provide some information that could be valuable to your farm. When you get this message, please call me back at XXXX. Thank you!
You can’t always get to the phone when clients, partners, investors, or colleagues call you. When this happens, a professional voicemail greeting helps you make a positive impression and tells them what to do next. There are a variety of ways to convey your message. If you’re not sure what type of message to record for your own voicemail box, here’s a definitive guide to get you started.
You voice message greetings are supposed to be fun, energetic, and witty so that the callers want to pick up their phones and give you a call just so they can listen to the greeting again.
No7: You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.
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10. Max Wait Time Reached Message. What the caller hears when they have been waiting in the queue for the maximum amount of time. Sample Scripts: “You have exceeded the waiting limit for this queue.
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Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee’s voicemail), it doesn’t preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker.
Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you.
I, I have only 10 seconds to explain to you how to leave a message on one of these machines. Now… now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience.
10. 1-888-447-5594: Epic speech. This last entry on the prank call numbers list is one that is slightly out of the box. These digits are an Easter Egg line for the ending of the video game God of War.
1. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently unavailable, but leave your name and number and I’ll return your call as soon as I can.
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Please make a note of it. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around. OK, what would you like me to tell me? This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service. This is a magic voicemail message.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.
I know you're out there. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end, I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I'm going to show them a world, without you. A world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you.
I'll call you, cause you called me. We're the ______ family. So leave your name and number at the tone. Sorry that we're not at home.
Hello, you've reached 555-1552, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities, and obscenities inside the car at all times. Enjoy your ride.
answering machine. noun. an electronic device that is attached to a telephone and that automatically answers callers with a prerecorded message and records their messages for later playback. Nearby words. Origin of answering machine. Also called telephone answering machine.
Simply speak into your phone or computer while recording a greeting with your business phone service. If you need to create your own audio file, the voice memo app on your phone should do fine.
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No34: Tim's dead! And God only knows where Lisa is! Fortunately resurrections and divine revelations do tend to occur from time to time, so leave a message and we'll let you know when the next miracle occurs.
“So I start by talking as if I answered the phone, like: ‘Hello? It’s Tom, is anyone there?’” Fulton eagerly explained, unaware that no one would ever stay on the line long enough to hear the voicemail he spent his entire Sunday crafting. “But that’s the joke — it’s just a message! Whoever is calling will be talking to no one,” Fulton added, failing to recognize that he was actually talking to no one since his message would never be played back by anyone under any circumstances.
This is a magic voicemail message. Leave a message. Leave a message at the beep. Oh, here it is. Hi, thanks for calling. If you need to reach me right away call my personal line as purposefully leave of one numberthat Hi, I am available to the phone right now but I take the calls in order of importance.
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“Hi, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m away from[date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I’ll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day.” “Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] — or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling ‘Are red spiders poisonous,’ or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won’t be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I’ll get in touch then.” “Hey there, this is [your name] from [your company]. I’m out of the office until [date]. In the meantime, please direct your inquiries to [coworker’s name] at [email address]. [He, she] can also be reached at [phone number]. Thank you.”
Hello, this is Susan. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.
Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...
For small businesses, there are a variety of voicemail service providers you can use that offer different features. From transcription and voice to text to more convenient features of handling multiple phones through one number, availability varies by service. Shared voicemail and call routing is intended for multiple access and directing calls to one or multiple phones. Mobile apps are also available that allow you to check your messages from your phone. The below infographic outlines the current state and trends of voicemails.
Hi. You have reached [Business Name]. Our offices are currently closed for the holiday season. We shall return on January 2, 2020, working office hours from 9 am to 5 pm, Monday thru Friday, closed Saturday and Sunday. Until then, please leave a short message and number, or email address, and we’ll get back to you shortly. Thank you for calling.
This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don't wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.
