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funny voicemail greetings examples

Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner (your name here) does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. She gives to charity through the office and she doesn’t need her picture taken if your still with me please leave a message and she will get back with you.

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Hey, not here right now and not really interested in who this is, I’m out on a wilderness retreat learning about the importance of making connections.
“Hi, you know who you called; leave a message, maybe they’ll call you back. Then again, maybe they won’t. That’s how life is. Point is, you’ve done what you can. Have a nice day.” .

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“Hi. This is (name). If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money. Bye!”
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

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So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek…. Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me?
Professional voicemail greeting examples to boost your credibility. Here are 15 business voicemail greetings to keep your clients and boost your credibility: You have reached [your name] at [your company]. Thank you for calling. Please leave your name, number and a message, and I will get right back to you. You've reached [your name] at [your

personal voicemail greeting for home phone

I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.

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42. Hi, you’ve reached [X company]. Our team is currently out of the office or assisting other customers. Leave your name, number, and a brief message so we can direct your call to the proper team member when we return.

  • funny voicemail greetings mental health hotline

    Don't Go Crazy. By Michele Meleen Counselor. Funny msg ideas for friend. This is not a voice mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here.

    I really liked your script. I am looking for ideas for our ringless voicemail script and this was a great inspiration.
    “Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [your company]. I’m unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,’ ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,’ ‘convert 40% more customers.’] Leave your name and number, and we’ll discuss how your company can see similar results.” “Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and reason you’d like to chat, and I’ll get to back to you ASAP.” “Hi, you’ve reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I’ll be in touch by EOD tomorrow. If it’s not urgent, leave me a message with your name and number. Have a great day.” “Hey, this is [your name]. If you’re calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I’ll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s].” “Hello, you’ve reached [name] at company. I’m unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I’ll return your call as soon as I’m free. Thank you.”

  • personal voicemail greeting messages

    Alright, so that's it. I'm done walking through the nuances of the script. I hopefully highlighted some of them that I think were tricky to discover and are important and subtle, but help accomplish a connection and a friendly vibe and at least a baseline. I'm just an average local guy, not some big fancy business. Uh, and uh, more likable, trustable posture.

    Thanks for all the great advice you share on the Manners Mentor blog! Here is my situation. I hope you can help. Sometimes I’m good at leaving a voicemail that’s to the point, but most of the time I feel like I’m a babbling idiot. I never know how much information to leave. How much is too much? How much isn’t enough, especially in a professional setting? I would love to know your thoughts on this. Best wishes for a wonderful week!
    Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

  • how to greet someone on video call

    "Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you... That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message.

    There are some people who tend to judge your work according to your voicemail greeting. In this article, we tell you what are the best ways to draft your voicemail message.
    “In case you have forgotten, this is a machine – my owner does not want siding, the newspaper, or the carpets cleaned. He donates to charity through its office and do not want their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave a message and we’ll see if he calls you back.”

  • download professional voicemail greetings

    “Hi there. This is (name) speaking. I’m home right now, and in a moment, I’ll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number, and I’ll be thinking about it…”

    Website: http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/03/08/make-a-positive-impression-with-your-personal-voicemail-greeting/
    C'mon... you can do it... just a little one. That's the way... just a little beep, just a little one. C'mon... good boy... here we go... like this -- beeeeep, just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep, c'mon... There you go!

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funny greetings for sister birthday

No one should be calling during the holidays, and yet some people do. When you’re out for the holidays, create a voicemail greeting that communicates the cheerfulness of the season while still staying professional.

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Leave me a message and wait by your phone till I can call you back. Hey, it’s me. I am home, but really trying to avoid someone I don’t like. So if you’ve left me a message and I haven’t called you back, then it’s probably you. Hi there! (pause) I am (your name)’s answering machine. (Your name) is …

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Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done.

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4. “What the hell do you want?” Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this.

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