Then Chuck Norris will hand you over my script. Totally serious. Just try it. đ
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One episode of The Simpsons has Homer and Marge buying a book about trying to invoke this trope, and end up trying to record a message together while reading out of it. It sort of goes without saying, but it ends up being So Unfunny It's Funny.. A season 2 episode had Homer calling Barney for bail, and initially gets an answering machine message sung to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
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Parodying any government or secret service agency is also a great way to create funny voicemail messages. For instance, you could say, "Thank you for calling the Slovakian Consulate. All our diplomats are out changing lightbulbs, so at the sound of the tone, please leave your details and any international secret you may have for sale." Creating funny voicemail messages that sound like they are from the mafia, the FBI, the CIA, or even the IRS can be a cool way to greet your callers when you are not available.
Selection of pre-recorded phone greetings and on hold messages: In order to select your desired phone message, please follow steps 1,2 and 3 in order . Our pre-recorded message packages are available in all common audio formats (mp3 / wave / alaw / ulaw / 16bit / 18bit). Special audio formats are also available at no extra cost.
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You canât call someone back if you donât have their number. It seems basic, but itâs easy to forget. So a quick reminder can go a long way.
Or I Send You Straight To Voicemail Because I Don T Want To Listen To You Talk About Yourself For An Hour Ecards Funny Someecards E Cards
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Custom Voicemail Greetings: Our pre-recorded on hold messages are available in 9 languages spoken by native speakers. We custom produce highest quality voicemail messages, IVR messages, on hold messages and announcements based on your individual scripts in multiple languages. We are looking forward to your call.
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Hi this is ____'s machine. My name is (pause) well that's not important. (Pause) Ya know it gets very lonely being here all day. (Pause) maybe you could stay and talk. (Pause) please talk to me after the beep, please talk to me after the beep ........... BEEP!!!!!!!!!!!
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Being that I have been at Holdcom for a few months now, I decided it was time to change my cell phone voicemail greeting to something a bit more polished. Keep in mind, I have had the same voicemail message for probably 6 years, just transferring the same greeting every time I would get a new... All posts Next
No15: Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
Hi! Iâm not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoesâŚYou wouldnât happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?
Crafting the perfect voicemail greeting is not as easy as it may seem at first glance, depending on the type of greeting: Business, funny, professional, formal, and informal, you need. Below, weâve included some tips in creating the perfect voicemail greeting. Go over them, then when you complete your final voicemail script, revisit these tips again to make certain youâve covered all the bases.
I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.
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-âŚand Iâll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill GatesâI swear.
1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now â probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. âdouble their leads in 60 days,' âhire the best and brightest engineers,' âconvert 40% more customers.'] Leave your name and number, and we'll discuss how your company can see similar results."
Voicemails donât necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you should be looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever you call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells you a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, youâve got to put a little bit of âyouâ when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldnât come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message.
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Here are a few voicemail message examples you can record if you have the opportunity to leave a professional sounding message, while still having a bit of fun. Before choosing one of these options, be sure your company allows for a little creativity. If you work in a strict professional position, theses options might not be the best for you.
These words are lovely dark and deep, But I've got promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep. So leave a message at the beep.
31. Hello, youâve reached [your name]. Iâll be out of the office from [start date] to [end date]. Please leave a message and Iâll return your call upon my return. Alternatively, you can email me at [email address] or call [name] at [phone number] for immediate assistance. Thanks for calling!
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2011 funny voicemail softwares - Free download - FreeWares Funny voicemail greetings about the economy: sprint voicemail password,
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It starts off pretty normal until Jimmy witnesses said car accident while speaking:
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The description reproduced above sets up the following scenario: While an operations manager employed by a restaurant (variously claimed to be Jack in the Box, McDonaldâs, Burger King, or some other fast food chain) is commuting to the
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I offered them a fair cash offer in a timely fashion and then that's a major benefit, a quick easy sale, you know, when dealing with motivated sellers in tough situations, that's really what they're looking for. You may deal with some people sometimes who are just focused exclusively on the price, but I find more often than not, sellers just want a quick, easy solution to the problem that they're in, which means a quick, easy sale and which is why I say you can avoid all the hassles typically that come along with selling your house through an agent or on your own.
ProfileFriendsGroupsDiscussionsCommentsReading ChallengeKindle Notes & HighlightsQuotesFavorite genresFriendsâ recommendationsAccount settingsHelpSign out Start by marking âNo Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messagesâ as Want to Read: Weâd love your help. Let us know whatâs wrong with this preview of No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages by John Carfi. Problem: Itâs the wrong book Itâs the wrong edition Other Not the book youâre looking for? Preview â No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages by John Carfi liked it 3.00 ¡ Rating details ¡ 3 ratings ¡ 1 review Published March 28th 1984 by CCC Publications (first published March 1984) 0918259002 (ISBN13: 9780918259004) To ask other readers questions about No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages, please sign up. Be the first to ask a question about No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list Âť Aug 02, 2014 Kelly rated it liked it I like this book. Great, snarky answering machine messages. There's something so special about each class of debut YA authors; after all, young adult fiction is all about the hopefulness of new... Company About us Careers Terms Privacy Interest Based Ads Ad Preferences Help AirPods AirPods Max AirPods Pro Apple Car Apple Deals Apple Glasses Apple Pay Apple Pro Display XDR Apple TV Apple Watch SE Apple Watch Series 7 CarPlay HomePod HomePod mini iMac iOS 14 iOS 15 iPad iPad Air iPad mini iPad Pro iPadOS 14 iPadOS 15 iPhone 11 iPhone 12 iPhone 13 iPhone 13 Pro iPhone 14 iPhone SE 2020 iPod touch Mac mini Mac Pro MacBook Air MacBook Pro 13" MacBook Pro 16" macOS Big Sur macOS Monterey watchOS 7 watchOS 8 Home New Posts Forum List Trending New Threads New Media Spy New posts WikiPost Latest summaries Watched WikiPosts Support FAQ and Rules Contact Us Thread starter patrick0brien Start date Jun 14, 2006 Sort by reaction score
âHello, itâs me. I was wondering if after all these years youâd leave a message at the beep. Hello, can you hear me? Iâm in California dreaming about the message that youâll leave. Hello from Ellen.â
Description: Funny Answering Machine Messages. Free ringtones download to cell phone for free. High quality ringtones. Set ringtone as phone call. Free Ring Tones. Quality: MP3 128 Kbps, 16 bit / 44.100 khz Duration: 00:21 sec Audio Size: 345 Kb Licence: The sound is licensed under âprivate use onlyâ theme songs | music ringtones | message tones | movie ringtones | old phone ringtones | instrumental ringtones | sfx | funny ringtones | star wars ringtones | scary ringtones Next story Salut dâamour Ringtone Previous story Prison Break Theme Song You may also like...
âUmmm⌠uh, listen carefully. I, I have only 10 seconds to explain to you how to leave a message on one of these machines. Now⌠now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. What, what youâve gotta do is ummm⌠and, and, and, and, uh⌠well.â
Nobody wants to listen to a long-winded voicemail. Keep your greeting short, simple, and concise. A voicemail message should pique a clientâs interest and leave them looking forward to your call. Stick to the basics, explaining your company name, hours of operation, and when to expect a callback.
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Sites: TheJournal.ie | Noteworthy | The42 | Boards.ie | Adverts.ie | Daft.ie One email every morning As soon as new articles come online Funny Voicemail: When you return a call you missed on purpose and it goes to their voicemail 12BRA SRF 3RF @tank.sinatra MemeCenter.com Voicemail Memes. Best Collection of Funny Voicemail Pictures Funny Voicemail: CALLS 911 VOICEMAIL MemeCentera memecenter.com Voicemail Memes. Best Collection of Funny Voicemail Pictures Funny Voicemail: DECIDE TO MAKE FUNNY VOICEMAIL MESSAGE FRIENDS ACTUALLY CALL NOW, BUT WANT THE VOICEMAIL NOT YOU quickmeme.com Funny Voicemail Greeting Sample Funniest Greetings Messages For Cell ...
âHello, youâve reached the special agent Bond. James Bond. Okay okay, itâs actually [last name]. Iâm currently away saving the world on a top-secret mission but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Please leave your name, contact info, number, and availability and Iâll call back as soon as Iâm done helping M16. Have a great day. [last name] out!â
"Originally posted by Katsumoru: And my dad is an astronaut and gave my car a rocket engine.It's not bull****, just too fast to see." "Originally posted by Menace: my dad works for nasa and has a laser detector that reflects the laser back at the cop and makes his gun explode." "Originally posted by ClawHammer: STI's are handed down by god himself, NOTHING is faster then an STI."
Jimmy Stewart, born James Maitland Stewart, has a voice that is unmistakable and 100% unique to him. One of Mr. Stewartâs most identifiable trademarks, the slow and stammering way he delivered lines, brings forward a hilarious way to tell your callers to leave a message.
4.) Keep your voicemail message to two points. If you need to share more information, then say in your voicemail that youâre going to send the person an e-mail message with the rest of the details. â⌠Iâm calling to share that we have finalized the ⌠and lastly, that we know youâd like to meet at 9:00 AM as we discussed. However, is Tuesday or Wednesday better for your teamâs schedule? âŚ.â
Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone]. Due to the current pandemic, our team members are working remotely and are available [Monday through Friday from 9am to 7pm Eastern Standard Time]. Please leave a message with your name, number, and how we can serve you. We will respond as promptly as possible. Thank you for your patience during this unprecedented time. Letâs get through this together. Stay safe and well.
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20. Hi, youâve reached [your name]âs phone. Iâm busy making deals or rock climbing [replace with your personal hobbies], so leave your contact information and a brief message so I can call you back when I have a free moment.
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The above greeting is a professional voicemail script used by many growing and established businesses. It delivers the message quickly and efficiently, without wasting the callerâs time.
-You have reached the voice mailbox of (your name). If youâre a hot chick/guy, you may leave a message at the tone. If your one of (your name)âs friends, you may also leave a message at the tone. If youâre not hot and not one of (your name)âs friends, call back when you are.
So there ya go. Leave a comment below and you'll get to download my nifty, we-buy-houses voicemail scriptâeasy peasy, macaroni-and-cheesy. And donât forget to be awesome.
Website: https://activerain.com/blogsview/392498/-free-voicemail-greetings-for-your-cell-phone
Virtual events are very much like many other kinds of meetings; only they take place over the internet. This technology allows visitors and businesses to collaborate, share information, connect with...
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Is it the automated one or have you personalized it to suit your personality? Many times, when we call our friends, family members, or any other places, all we get is the voicemail. But when that message on the other side of the line is plain, it can really put someone off.
Along the way, voice mail usage also suffered significant drops. People not only stopped leaving voice mail messages, they stopped listening to voice mail messages received. In 2012 Vonage, a voice over Internet Protocol (IP) carrier, tracked an 8 percent drop in voice mails left for users. Even worse, Vonage saw a 14 percent drop in people even bothering to listen to voice mail messages others left for them. The company has not released updated stats, but Iâd assume the decline continues five years later.
Parodying any government or secret service agency is also a great way to create funny voicemail messages. For instance, you could say, "Thank you for calling the Slovakian Consulate. All our diplomats are out changing lightbulbs, so at the sound of the tone, please leave your details and any international secret you may have for sale." Creating funny voicemail messages that sound like they are from the mafia, the FBI, the CIA, or even the IRS can be a cool way to greet your callers when you are not available.
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25. "Hello! Thanks for reaching out to [company]. We're closed today for the holiday, and will reopen tomorrow. If you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we'll give you a call when we're back in the office. Thanks again, and have a great day."
3. âOoooooh, its a lady.â If its a lady on the other end, then yell âoooooh its a ladyâ! That lady will surely get a good laugh.
I canât come to the phone right now because Iâm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handi- work, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If youâre from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
Thank you! Stick a good morning note on the mirror to surprise him in the morning; leave cute notes in his bag or other random places. Do you want your voicemail returned? Don't become a sales voicemail leaving zombie.Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails.
Luckily, voicemail recordings are here to help! Surely, youâve encountered them in the past. A warm, personal greeting, recorded using a real human voice, listing out dial options (âPress 1 forâŚ, Press 2 forâŚ), or simply explaining why the call isnât available, saying that you can leave a message after the beep!
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Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Sam can't come to the phone right now because he's spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera.
4. HulloMail Smart Voicemail. HulloMail is among the best visual voicemail app for android 2018 offering advanced voicemail services with its simple and easy-to-use interface.
âHey there! This is [name] at [XYZ company]. Thank you for calling. I canât take your call right now but if you leave your name, contact info and reason for calling, Iâll call you back right away. Take care and speak with you soon!â
Take the time to listen to calls, call back if necessary, use your cell phone when youâre out of town, and take care of anything actionable listed in the messages instead of watching your mailbox fill in. This kind of attention to detail can go a long way towards building a good reputation and image for the business. Good luck!
Custom voicemail greetings are essential. If you donât have one, it makes your business look unprofessional and a little robotic. Be sure to include something that people will want to hear when theyâre calling your business. Inspirational voicemail greetings mean a lot ot your callers, it lets them know you care. When it comes to business, voicemail is the most important form of communication.
3. 4 out of 5 people who employ this service have country music as their song of choice while I wait to be connected. Itâs as if country music fans got together and said, âif only we could get 15 seconds of our music into peopleâs ears, they would see how amazing it is. Does anyone have a bright idea of how we could force people to listen to 15 seconds of country music?â
