29. Hi, this is [your name] at [X company]. I am on vacation right now and won’t be back to the office until [X date]! Please leave me your name, phone number, and the reason you are calling, and I will get back to you then. Alternatively, you can phone [Name] at [phone contact information]. Thank you for calling!
Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me.
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“Hello, this is Morgan Freeman. I wish I could tell you that Morgan Freeman was available to take your call. I wish I could tell you that, but this is no fairytale world. Morgan Freeman is gone now; to where I cannot say. But if you’re lucky, I might just call ya’ back. Get busy leavin’ your message.”
“I am trapped in this box, and I can’t get out. Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back!”
The last few years have seen a huge rise in the use of automated voicemails and auto-attendant greetings. This has been especially true for the business sector, where professionals should record friendly and polite voicemails to greet their customer callers.
I guess I’m a little like a cat in that way. I’m a call screener. If you’re my friend and you’re reading this, please understand I don’t screen your calls. Just everyone else’s.
Your voicemail doesn’t have to be monotonous or impersonal. What you need is something that is unique to you but works in a professional manner.
Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it.
We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and Master Card, Visa, or American Express account number and we’ll get back to, pending credit approval.
We surround ourselves with positive people and influences, and we live life with a strength that’s forged by the conviction of our beliefs, not the strong pull of our society towards the lowest common denominator.
Saying that your have available slots for Thursday can be tricky, and also requires more work on your end, as you will need to keep relentlessly updating your salon voicemail message to adapt it. However you should give the time when you are next open. Remember to give your web address if guiding your clients to book online.
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Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number.
Can’t take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me! Tee Hee Hee! Leave a message?
One episode of The Simpsons has Homer and Marge buying a book about trying to invoke this trope, and end up trying to record a message together while reading out of it. It sort of goes without saying, but it ends up being So Unfunny It's Funny.. A season 2 episode had Homer calling Barney for bail, and initially gets an answering machine message sung to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future....