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This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don’t wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.

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1. InstaVoice. InstaVoice is among the top visual voicemail app that seeks to give you access and manage your voicemails efficiently. The application provides its users with free voicemail, voice messages, and missed call notifications.
Funny Videos, Pranks, Answering machine messages, pictures, signs, cartoons. Funny Answering Machine Messages. Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. Click Here To Listen to the All New Computer Generated Messages. .

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6. Hello, this is [your name] at [your company]. I am unavailable at the moment, but please leave your name, number, and the reason you’re calling, and I’ll call you back as soon as possible.
34. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m currently out of the office celebrating [X holiday]. I’ll be back on [X date], so leave a quick message and I’ll be sure to return your call when I get back. Have a happy [holiday]!

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02Hello, you’ve reached [your name] of [your company/business]. I’m sorry that I’m not available to answer your call now. Please leave your details and a brief message at the tone and I’ll make sure your message reaches the right person. This is the perfect voicemail for a department’s secretary or operatory to let those calling know that their message will be delivered when you get back.
We look forward to serving you so please leave your contact info, details and reason for calling after the beep. We will call you right back!

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Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.

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Nobody wants to listen to a long-winded voicemail. Keep your greeting short, simple, and concise. A voicemail message should pique a client’s interest and leave them looking forward to your call. Stick to the basics, explaining your company name, hours of operation, and when to expect a callback.

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    Hello. I'm not at home right now because I'm out making changes in my life so leave a message and if I don't call you back, you're probably one of those changes. (BEEP)

    19. Hi, you’ve reached [employee name]’s voicemail box. [Employee first name] no longer works for [company name]. Please call our main line at [phone number] and we’ll be happy to connect you with a current team member who can help.
    Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time.

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    Please be advised that these messages are posted here because I thought they was amusing and I thought that others might enjoy them also. If you are one of the people that left one of these messages and are offended by seeing it here just let me know and I'll take it down.

    8. Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I’m home right now, and in a moment I’ll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I’ll be thinking about it…
    Hello, it’s obvious you have bad timing, because nobody is home. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible.

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    My friend found a recording of a man rifling off purposely confusing voice mail instructions. It's really fast, and he keeps saying numbers and number combinations... I wish I had it....

    No more fear! You’re so going to be a gracious master of voicemails. Here are the best tips to help you leave a voicemail message that’s friendly, gets the needed information across, and ends before the dreaded “time’s up” beep!
    Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?

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    -Hey! Sorry I missed your call. If you’re a telemarketer, then I’m definitely not sorry. If you’re not a telemarketer, then I’ll return your call as soon as possible.

    If I’m your best friend, that’s not a problem. But otherwise, I have no idea if I’m leaving a message for the right person or not. Was that his voice? I couldn’t tell. It kinda sounded like Micheal Cera. Did I accidentally just call Michael Cera’s phone? “Hey if this is Alex, it’s Bryan Allain…call me back. And if this is Michael Cera, loved you in Year One. You may also call me back.”
    Thinking of having some fun with your callers while you are away? Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages. Take a look.

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With my cell phone in my hand and her watching her show. I asked her if she could get me a beer and she said no. Then her cell phone rang in the kitchen and she quickly got up to see what it was. My message said while you're in the kitchen can you get me a beer. I don't remember the rest

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1. The Welcome Greeting. This is the first greeting callers hear when they call your company. Sample Scripts: “Thank you for calling [company name].” “Thank you for calling [company name].

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Funny answering machine or voicemail messages to try. Posted by hotcrowd on August 6, 2009. Try a clever message for your phone. These are a hoot! Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money.

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