If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number, I'd appreciate it.
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So leave a message at the beep. Hi…You have reached name. I am unable to answer your call. Leave your name and number and I will return your call…If you are a bill collector, please send me a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can send you my latest bills.JavaScript seems to be disabled in your browser. You must have JavaScript enabled in your browser to utilize the functionality of this website. There are very few cases in which our telephone answering service would recommend having an antiquated voicemail answer your incoming calls.
This guy is looking to get rid of his "blackish white groundhog guinea pig" and wants us to come pick it up.
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All companies should have professional voicemail greetings. It’s important that all voicemails are professionally-read and sound consistent across each department. This provides the caller with an elevated experience, setting them up for success on every customer interaction.
Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost your voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep.
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The female voicemail greeting experts know how to pace their delivery and produce the perfect sound for your application.
This spam showcases around voicemail phishing Vishingwhich is a type of scam done through Voicemails. I want to be your best friend until I am too old to remember. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. If your one of your name 's friends, you may also leave a message at the They are perfect alternatives when you want to add some uniqueness to your voicemail. Fourth, wait patiently by your phone; one of us will come to you.
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Funny e-mail forwards, jokes, silly stuff and more. Visit often for the latest funny e-mails!
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I have no idea if I’ve dialed the right number or if I’m about to leave a message for Kim Jong-il (why wouldn’t Kim Jong-il have a cellphone with a Lancaster County, PA area code?). If I’m killed tonight by snipers from North Korea, this is all your fault.
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That is the funniest voice mail I’ve ever heard. If that is a real voice mail I would say that rep needs some serious training. I work for a direct seed company and all of our work is over the telephone. Here is a sample of a voice mail that I might leave: “This is Mike with XXXX Seed. I’m calling for a couple of reasons: First of all I wanted to say thanks for your business and support. Also, I wanted to find out how your planting season is going and provide some information that could be valuable to your farm. When you get this message, please call me back at XXXX. Thank you!
This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don’t wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.
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No34: Tim's dead! And God only knows where Lisa is! Fortunately resurrections and divine revelations do tend to occur from time to time, so leave a message and we'll let you know when the next miracle occurs.
8. “Phone tag, you’re it.” Remember that childhood game of tag, you’re it? It’s the same with this phrase, but it is slightly changed. It sounds best when you want to create a playful or mischievous vibe.
Oh, one more thing;Where do you say you live?Hi.I need some money if this is my parents.If this is my friend, I will give you your money.If this is a hot girl, don't listen to what I said before.
She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella.
3. Funny Examples of Voicemail Messages. These can be used to play tricks on people on April fools day or for any other reason. Use with discretion. If you don't have a time machine, please leave a message and I'll get back with you in the future.
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Just when we think things can’t get any more brutal, Jimmy tells of how the main assailant – the Godmother if you will – begins to unleash her savage beating:
“I’m answering this phone for my friend who tells me it’s your nature to hang up and not leave a message, but I should remind you that nature is what we are put on this earth to rise above. So please, leave a message at the sound of the beep… for the sake of anthropology.”
No one likes to be on hold. Make that experience enjoyable for your customers and clients. I can voice custom messages, with music in the background, talking about your business or products while they wait. Reassure them that someone will be with them soon.
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Hello, you've reached 555-1552, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities, and obscenities inside the car at all times. Enjoy your ride.
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Keep in mind that regulations for use of email and text messaging may require clients to opt-in—meaning they give permission for you to contact them in this way. So, you’ll need to be clear if you plan only to use email or text messages for one-on-one communication during active casework or if you may also use it for other reasons as well, including reminders or promotions for your products or services.
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9. 212-479-7990: You have been rejected. You met an exciting new person, asked for their phone number, and got it. But when you called, it was not them on the line.
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Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home. The actor, Jason Alexander, recently customized this answering greeting for a big fan, Kat Dennings. Watch the full segment on Youtube here.
Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them. I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone.
No one should be calling during the holidays, and yet some people do. When you’re out for the holidays, create a voicemail greeting that communicates the cheerfulness of the season while still staying professional.
MightyCall provides such an answer for businesses. With simple, visually-based call flows, adapting your voicemail messages for different customers and even different times of day demands no tech knowledge and no hardware. Try MightyCall’s business phone system free for 7 days, or book a live demo today.
Hello. This is Chris. John and Mike aren’t here right now, but if you leave a message, they’ll get back to you as soon as they can.
17. "Hello! You've gotten the voicemail of [your name]. Leave your name, contact info, and the answer to the eternal question ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg?' Anyone who gets it right will receive a call back."
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Voicemail is a wondrous invention that can truly define ‘godsend’. It gives you the option of keeping annoying people at bay, without being outright rude. It only seems fair then, to return the favor by spicing up your voicemail greeting. Voicemail Ideas • I’m not …
As an added bonus, posting a job on Voices.com is always free. They also have a VoiceMatch™ algorithm to match your job to only the most qualified voice talent.
Website: https://www.austincc.edu/offices/telecommunications-services/tutorials-and-reference-guides/sample-voicemail-greetings
Caller ID also played a role in the decline of calls answered by making it easier to know which calls to reject.
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You must have JavaScript enabled in your browser to utilize the functionality of this website. There are very few cases in which our telephone answering service would recommend having an antiquated voicemail answer your incoming calls.
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Voicemail greetings should be professional, but the structure can vary depending on the situation. Here's a sample voicemail greeting script: "Hello, you've reached [name] at [company]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I'll return your call as soon as I'm free. Thank you.".
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Avoid These 3 Voicemail Mishaps When Job SearchingAvoid these scenarios with your voicemail during your job search.
This article is about the second main type of greeting – the voicemail greeting. All businesses should have professional voicemail greetings at the company level (i.e. your general business number), department level (e.g. customer service), and employee level, where applicable. It’s important that each of these voicemail greetings align with the brand and personality of your company to ensure that every caller has a consistent experience. Let’s dive in!
Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy.
No6: (Drawling granny voice:) Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. Thanksh a lot.
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“Yo, this is Leon. If you’re calling about scoring some catnip — oops, I mean ‘you know what,’ meow twice in your message. If you’re calling about ear-cleaning services, meow once. Or maybe meow once for ‘you know what’ and twice for ear cleaning. I don’t remember. Maybe don’t leave a message and we’ll psychically connect. OK? Cool.”
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Chances are that you have a voicemail. A landline or a cellphone usually comes standard with the option for a personal greeting. Below are some original and humorous recordings of voice messages for your mobile or immobile phone. There are plenty of other funny ideas, but we’ve seen them or heard them before. For instance, the “Hello” and pause effect- the prank is more amusing for the listener because you don’t get to hear them throughout their confusion until after the beep. A rarer one was a philosophical answering machine that I found rather witty:
Business transition voicemail greetings communicate important information resulting from changes to your business activities driven by things like a new address or remodeling. Keep it light and simple!
About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food. Tags: Behavior, Cats And Tech, Catster Home, Humor, Lists, Offbeat Subscribe View Sep 21 Sep 20 Sep 17 Sep 15 Load More Follow on Instagram Annie Butler Shirreffs Jackie Brown Shopping Guide Advertise Events Photo Booth Contact the Editors Meet the Team Subscribe My Account Pay My Bill Customer Service Privacy Policy DO NOT SELL MY INFORMATION
2. Professional voicemail greetings for your business cell phone number. It’s a good practice for each of your team members to have their own personal business phone numbers.
On the other hand, a stellar professional voicemail is more than just a way to ensure callers are heard. It’s actually a gateway to encourage recruiters, clients, connections, venders, and other callers to continue forward with the first step in developing a business relationship, which is them making contact. The power of the right voicemail greeting is the caller actually staying on the line to leave that contact information or gain access to an alternative contact point.
10Hello, this is [your name]. I’m probably at home just avoiding someone I dislike. A funny way of telling someone you’re avoiding them without sounding offensive or having to pick their calls. Please speak very slowly, make it short, make it sweet, and I’ll deliver the message to them. Using other household appliances as stand-ins for the message center is cute and funny. This voicemail will warn callers not to bring drama, so you can save yourself the trouble of having to hear a message that was about to spoil your day.
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5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number]. Thank you!"
