Holy crap! I just found the recording of a fraternity brother's voicemail from college! I'll post EDIT: Right now... "Our new years resolution was to stay home more and answer our phone, but I guess we're not doing that. Leave a message after the beep " Choppy Prerecorded man's voice "Hello, Please leave a message after the tone " (verizon lady voice)- "Hello - 'Erik' (my voice) - is currently not available. Please leave a message after the tone. To leave a callback number press 5. " Sep 13, 2003 3,303 32 Its not so much where you are as when you are. I did that one once. Pissed the hell out of the telemarketers. See they have an autodialer which listens for the first bit of the phone call. If its something a person says then it hands the call to a person. For a while I also started answering the phone like an answering machine and got all sorts of people just hanging up on me. "Our new years resolution was to stay home more and answer our phone, but I guess we're not doing that. Leave a message after the beep " "Hello?......Hello?....I'm sorry, can you speak up please, I can barely here you....What's that?...I'm sorry, we're not home right now, please leave a message and we'll get back to you soon...." I like the "Hello? ", caught a few people talking to the answering machine with that one. "Hi mom, hi dad.. is not here." etc., etc.
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-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
Just kidding. Do you know of a funnier voice message? Leave it in the comments below! Author: Michael C Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. Post Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published.While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude.
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Acces PDF Telephone Answering Machine Messages 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break The telephone answering device is slightly different from the concept of voicemail, given that voicemail represents a centralized and networked
4. Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?… long pause and beep sound.
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Whether you're in a long-distance relationship or just missing your guy, let him know how you feel with a sweet voicemail. If you can't be with your guy, but want to let him know you're thinking of him, a cute voicemail is the perfect solution.
Being the great guy that he is, the star humbly complied but added a fun and unexpected close to the recording. Please leave a message. Laugh as you watch how Mr. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.
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Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. [Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.] OK, what would you like me to tell me?
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I love this script~ I am reading Robert Allen’ Multiple Streams of Income and was needing a script to use. THank you!
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You must have JavaScript enabled in your browser to utilize the functionality of this website. There are very few cases in which our telephone answering service would recommend having an antiquated voicemail answer your incoming calls.
To improve a a business voicemail greeting, keep these eight rules at the forefront of the creative process: Avoid turning customers off with overused and impersonal phrases like “your call is very important to us..." Avoid leaving customers unsure by not immediately telling them the business, department, and/or person they’ve reached. Avoid leaving customers confused with too many details and complications; just keep it simple. Avoid messages longer than 25 seconds. Do apologize for being unavailable at the moment. Do invite the caller to leave a message. Do tell the caller when they can expect a return call and actually follow through within that timeframe. Do tell the caller about any applicable alternative options of contact and information- website, live chat, email, social media, or emergency numbers. Voicemail Greetings 101
I'll call you, cause you called me. We're the ______ family. So leave your name and number at the tone. Sorry that we're not at home.
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OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So… now what? I… am… so… confused. Could you please… beep.
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I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am.
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20. "Hey there, this is [your name] from [your company]. I'm out of the office until [date]. In the meantime, please direct your inquiries to [coworker's name] at [email address]. They can also be reached at [phone number]. Thank you."
3. The Value. Only your mom will call you back for something you want. Everyone else wants to know what it’s worth their time. At Factor 8 we like the term, SWIIFT℠ So, What’s In It for Them?
Information: Your business voicemail should provide all the information the caller needs. ...Validation: A great professional voicemail greeting should thank the caller for their call and apologize for missing it. ...Motivation: The aim of a professional voicemail is to keep the caller on the line long enough to listen to your message. ...
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Jimmy Stewart, born James Maitland Stewart, has a voice that is unmistakable and 100% unique to him. One of Mr. Stewart’s most identifiable trademarks, the slow and stammering way he delivered lines, brings forward a hilarious way to tell your callers to leave a message.
As video marketing continues to take top priority on marketers agendas, companies and brands are scrambling to find the resources and funds for this highly engaging and sought after digital content.
Hello, this is the Brown residence. We're in the middle of a family fight right now. Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back.
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Save voicemail messages in just minutes. Download voicemails as mp3 or save to CD. Record voicemail messages before upgrading phones. Save voicemails from iPhone, Android, cell phones & landlines. Start Now.
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I totally get it… I've been there, and always appreciate finding an “easy button” or shortcut myself. If it'll save me (i) time, (ii) pain or (iii) the trial-and-error of making or finding it myself, then I'm in.
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Bullwinkle Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Rocky: Again? Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! [Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.]
“Mom, Dad… Don’t you think it would be easier to reach me if I had a cellular phone? So how about an early birthday present?”
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“I don’t know who you are but if you don’t let my daughter go now, I will find you; I will kill you. Please leave a message.”
This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.
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Hi, we aren’t in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you’ve finished.
Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we’d continue the hilarity with even more of your favorite greetings that you can use. Here’s the latest batch: I have nothing to say to you. So leave a message. “Think fast!” *beep* Hi, you’ve reached _____.
Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages – Phone Losers Of America. Our Pre Recorded Message Packages Are Available In All Common Audio Formats Mp3 Wave Alaw Ulaw 16Bit 18Bit. Download Voicemail Greetings For Free Browse Most Popular Greetings And Add A Greeting To Your Youmail Visual Voicemail.
You have reached the office of [Business Name]. All of our representatives are currently busy. However, if you choose to do so, you may leave a brief message, including your name, number, or email, and we’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for calling [Business Name].
Work from anywhere. LinkedPhone serves the small business community with local & toll-free business numbers that work with your cell phone, desk phone, & laptop. Our mobile app creates a dedicated 2nd number so you can talk & text with clients on the go. Keep your business stuff separate from your personal stuff. Share a common business number with team members. Break free from the desk phone & go mobile. With LinkedPhone, freedom rings! 🔔📱💻☎️
Here are some great examples of professional voicemail greetings that you can use in your business!
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Hello. Thank you for contacting [Business Name]. Unfortunately, we are not currently available at the moment. Our regular office hours are Monday through Friday, 8 am to 4 pm, closed during the weekend. Please leave a message along with your name and number, and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
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8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back.
Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Sam can't come to the phone right now because he's spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera.
There are very few cases in which our telephone answering service would recommend having an antiquated voicemail answer your incoming calls. A Courteous Communications can recommend these 10 recordings for personal use only. Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them.
7.) End on a high note! You don’t necessarily need to say “Goodbye” at the end of a voicemail, because you didn’t really talk to anyone. Instead, try something like, “Look forward to chatting with you!” Use the word “with” instead of “to.” It sounds less like the person is going to receive a parental or boss “talking to” and more like two people who are eager to connect with one another on the phone. It’s a subtle difference, yet it’s a gracious one!
Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone …
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That is the funniest voice mail I’ve ever heard. If that is a real voice mail I would say that rep needs some serious training. I work for a direct seed company and all of our work is over the telephone. Here is a sample of a voice mail that I might leave: “This is Mike with XXXX Seed. I’m calling for a couple of reasons: First of all I wanted to say thanks for your business and support. Also, I wanted to find out how your planting season is going and provide some information that could be valuable to your farm. When you get this message, please call me back at XXXX. Thank you!
05You have reached the offices of [your company/business]. Unfortunately, we are currently closed. We are usually open between [hours] [days] and closed on [days]. Please leave us a message with your details and we will get back to you when the office opens. You may hang up after leaving your message or press the [key] for other options. Thank you for your call. This after-hours voicemail greeting lets callers know how to do business or communicate with you outside normal business hours. You may also like 6 How to Ask for a Raise Email Templates to Get Your Point Across
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry,
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Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting? Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you!
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If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it. If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid. Thank you for calling Starstripe Mental Hospital, and have a nice day. You have reached the voice mail box of your name. I want to hear what you have to say. You want to know why?
Your clients don’t have a lot of time, and neither do you. Use the following short voicemail greetings to get to the point quickly and invite them to leave a message.
9. AT&T Visual Voicemail. With AT&T Visual Voicemail, you get easier access to voicemails. You get visual voicemails straight from your mobile carrier that increases the accuracy of reading the voicemails and removes the need to call from your mail inbox.
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Please hang up, and check the number, and dial again, and your card number, and check the number again, and ask information operator for assistance for fifteen minutes, and deposit 40 cents.
It starts off pretty normal until Jimmy witnesses said car accident while speaking:
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I know you're out there. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end, I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I'm going to show them a world, without you. A world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you.
About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food. Tags: Behavior, Cats And Tech, Catster Home, Humor, Lists, Offbeat Subscribe View Sep 21 Sep 20 Sep 17 Sep 15 Load More Follow on Instagram Annie Butler Shirreffs Jackie Brown Shopping Guide Advertise Events Photo Booth Contact the Editors Meet the Team Subscribe My Account Pay My Bill Customer Service Privacy Policy DO NOT SELL MY INFORMATION
4. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
With the Holiday season right around the corner, your office’s voicemail greeting should quickly inform callers of any potential changes in hours, days or availability. Oh, and what better way to spread holiday wishes than with a personalized, updated greeting – of course, while at the same time, keeping your clients and prospects in the loop of where you’ll be and when.
Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.
(Bullwinkle) Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine. (Rocky) Again? (Bullwinkle) Nuthin' up my sleeve. Presto! Must have been a wrong number. (Rocky) Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message.
