"Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can."
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39 Humorous and Witty Voicemail Greetings. Oct 28, 2015. Jan 7, 2014 by Brandon Gaille. Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time.
Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)
I’m sorry, the number you have dialed is in working order. If you were expecting an error, please hang up and try another number.
We look forward to serving you so please leave your contact info, details and reason for calling after the beep. We will call you right back!
21. "Hello, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. The team is currently out of the office, but we'll be back on [date] stuffed with good food and eager to speak with you. Leave your name, number, and — if you're so inclined — your favorite [holiday dish, Thanksgiving tradition, etc.]"
3. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m sorry I’ve missed your call. If you leave your name, number, and reason for calling, I’ll get back to you as promptly as possible.
“Can you hear me? Can you hear me? I don’t think if this thing works. I’m probably guarding my litter box right now so the dog doesn’t steal my deposits. This is important work, so I can’t distract myself with phone calls. I’ll catch up with you later. Is this even working? Leave a message and hopefully I’ll figure out how to retrieve it.”
Hello. I'm not at home right now because I'm out making changes in my life so leave a message and if I don't call you back, you're probably one of those changes. (BEEP)
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Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now.
We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep. Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? Hey, sorry I missed you. Leave a message. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.
“Mom, Dad… Don’t you think it would be easier to reach me if I had a cellular phone? So how about an early birthday present?”
21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages Laugh Brea . Listen to your voice messages and return any calls at your convenience. Set up your voicemail, and get started with Skype voice messages today. Get Skype . Discover all Skype's features .
My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.
25. "Hello! Thanks for reaching out to [company]. We're closed today for the holiday, and will reopen tomorrow. If you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we'll give you a call when we're back in the office. Thanks again, and have a great day."