personal voicemail greeting generator
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“Hey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway I’m about to give in my resignation right now. Please don’t call here again. Just kidding!

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I’ve assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown. Book a free demo Request a quote
Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording. .

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13Please repeat the captcha below [utter captcha] to confirm you are not a robot before being allowed to leave a message at [your name]’s voicemail. This is a great copy of the internet’s way of cracking down on spam and robots. Callers will be left repeating the captcha unknowingly. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave me a voicemail, then that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will call you. This is a classic line from the movie Taken (without the violence). Your callers will always get startled at the threat initially but will surely leave them in jitters as they drop a message in your voicemail. This is a classic trick and one that is both funny and frustrating. Watching people continue to speak as if you’re there is funny. Make sure they know when to leave a message though. You may also like 10 Great Templates: How to Say Thank You for Your Order to Customers
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Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you should be looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever you call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells you a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail.
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Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.

  • funny voicemail greetings audio free

    What you need to record creative and funny voicemail greetings. Creative voicemail greetings are a terrific engagement and personalization tool for business. But to make them work, you need a business phone system that makes …

    She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella.
    My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.

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    When your small business is closed, ensure that your callers know that! If appropriate, you might want to reiterate your business hours to manage callback expectations.

    From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here. You talk. I'm sorry I didn't answer your call. I want to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. He could record the following: Hi! This is John Smith. Some of these quotes are designed to accommodate every feeling an individual has. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget.
    Funny voicemail messages are an excellent alternative for people that are looking for that unique touch for something that seems really mundane. If you’re having trouble coming up with your own then you can check out some of the funny voicemail messages below.

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    I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am.

    Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy.
    After hours of brainstorming and countless redos, area man Tom Fulton finally recorded the perfect joke voicemail that no other person will ever bother listening to.

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    We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and Master Card, Visa, or American Express account number and we’ll get back to, pending credit approval.

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Website: https://linkedphone.com/blog/professional-business-voicemail-greetings-scripts-examples-for-business/

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When your business is closed for vacation or holidays, it’s imperative that you set appropriate expectations for a callback and to provide an alternative coverage option, if available. The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly.

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This is an answering machine. This is the nineties. You know what to do. 59. You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep. 60. This is a boring answering machine message. Leave a message anyway. [Use to keep people from calling at odd hours to hear your latest exciting message.] 61.

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No26: (Deadpan voice:) Hi, This is Dave. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.

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