Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
When on vacation, provide your callers with a return date and a back-up contact person to accommodate emergencies. This prevents you from potentially damaging a valued relationship while you enjoy some time off.
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We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and Master Card, Visa, or American Express account number and we’ll get back to, pending credit approval.
Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)
“I don’t know who you are but if you don’t let my daughter go now, I will find you; I will kill you. Please leave a message.”
2. Interactive Voice Response (IVR) Greeting. The greeting callers hear when they enter your IVR. Sample Scripts: “For English press 1. Para Español presione el número 2.”
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What’s more, according to WP Beginner, “more than 88% of local searches on mobile devices end up in a phone call,” so you don’t want to be caught off guard when a customer calls!
I have no idea if I’ve dialed the right number or if I’m about to leave a message for Kim Jong-il (why wouldn’t Kim Jong-il have a cellphone with a Lancaster County, PA area code?). If I’m killed tonight by snipers from North Korea, this is all your fault.
A monotone voice can be a turn off for a caller. You want your caller to feel like they missed out on speaking with you — not like they dodged a bullet.
The greeting that you leave on your phone in the form of a voice mail can be very important as it is the first contact that anyone calling has with you or the company that you work for. Therefore it is important that your voicemail greeting is drafted in such a manner that it does not make the caller squirm in embarrassment, or even raise their eyebrows in sheer wonder. Proper voicemail etiquette demands that a good voicemail message convey information like whom the caller is calling, where they are, when the caller can expect to be called back, and what to do if the call that is being made is of an urgent nature.
Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.
So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been?
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4. "Hello, you've reached [your name and title]. I'm currently out on parental leave until [date]. In the meantime, please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [email address]. Thanks, and I'll see you in [month you'll be back in the office]."
Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back—only that I won't.
By the way, pro tip: I use Vumber, Vumeber.com for this service. And as you can see from the pricing is very reasonable. $10 a month gets you to local phone numbers in your area and you can use up to 500 minutes on those two numbers, three cents for each additional minute.