I quite liked the ease of the script; not rushed and overbearing. It is like you are right there talking to me at the kitchen table. Slight grammatical error, it’s ” my wife and I” not “me and my wife.”
The next step is very important and you need to get it right. Say your phone number two times very slowly so the person has enough time to write down your number as they are listening to your message the first time.

I love my job because [XYZ company] is the best place to work at. Please leave your full name, contact info, number and other details and I’ll call back within 24 hours! Thanks a bunch.”
Using your cell phone to record a voicemail message isn't always easy. Between remembering what to say and getting the right timing, it's tricky. But your phone does have a playback option, and it's easy to listen to and review your message. For some people, though, cutting off the end of a message is a funny way to trick people and catch them off guard. In most situations, callers won't know it's intentional and will think you're far less than tech savvy. Definitely not an impression I'd want to make.