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1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘ double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.']

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4. "Hello, you've reached [your name and title]. I'm currently out on parental leave until [date]. In the meantime, please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [email address].
When leaving your voicemail and phone number, do not say, "Please call me back at ..." Nothing sounds more like a salesperson making a cold call then saying, "please call me back at...". .

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Obviously, I need to update it. And if you haven't changed your voicemail greeting in over a year, you're likely in the same boat.
Please be advised that these messages are posted here because I thought they was amusing and I thought that others might enjoy them also. If you are one of the people that left one of these messages and are offended by seeing it here just let me know and I'll take it down.

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2. Hi, you’ve reached [your name]’s voicemail box. I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your contact information I’ll get back to you within 24 hours.
-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.

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"SAC Missle Control. Good day Mr. President. We are presently holding at T minus 2 minutes into the first strike countdown. To authorize resumption and launch, merely hang up without leaving a message. On the other hand, if you do not wish to destroy the world, or merely wanted to speak to , leave your message after the beep."

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    Website: https://www.studyeducation.org/study/free-pre-recorded-voicemail-messages

    We actually know a top insurance sales guy who did a sales motivational message every day just like this, and people used to call just to listen to his thoughts.
    A professional and personable voicemail greeting is beneficial for several reasons. Read ahead to find out what these are.

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    I’m Sorry, We’re Sorry (They are all very sorry). Reminds me of Brion Gysin (Try track 3, 4, and 5).

    A good cell phone voice mail greeting is clear, courteous and to the point. Enunciate, don't mumble, to make it as easy as possible for those with poor hearing or bad connections to be able to hear your greeting. Be polite, and save swearing for the conversation, if applicable.
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    When you want to add some uniqueness to your voicemail, they are the perfect choice.These cool voice mail ideas given below will eliminate the mundane impact and leave you fresh voice mail.So, take a look at some interesting greetings that you can use as your funny phone voice mail idea (or home phone ).

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    No5: You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me.
    5. Delay Announcement. What the caller hears every two minutes that they are in the waiting queue. Sample Scripts: “Thank you for your patience. All of our agents are still busy.

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Two other parodies of telephone messages have been made from the telephone company by Ghtrout.

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10. Hello, you’ve reached [your company]. We’re sorry to have missed your call. Please leave a brief message including your name, number, and reason for calling and a member of our team will get back to you within one business day.

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“How do you leave an idiot in suspense? Leave a message, and I’ll get back to you… Bye!”

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