funny voicemail greetings for telemarketers

Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me? I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? 16. "Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven't reached the Sorting Hat — it's the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I'll return your call as soon as possible." good voice message ideas I quite liked the ease of the script; not rushed and overbearing. It is like you are right there talking to me at the kitchen table. Slight grammatical error, it’s ” my wife and I” not “me and my wife.” A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future…. A is for academics, B is for beer. So leave a message. After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……. 2. Voxist. Voxist is one of the great visual voicemail that allows users to manage voicemails conveniently and smoothly, anywhere they go, and also let them read transcribed voicemail messages. funny voicemail four old ladies An easy way to get started using video content as part of your marketing strategy is to turn... Do You Still Need a Professional Cell Phone Voicemail Greeting? July 25, 2013 Juli Durante resources, tips, greetings If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message. A good first impression goes a long way, and a voicemail greeting is the first impression to your business. An expertly crafted voicemail script lets your clients know you’re dependable, capable, and confident. An unprofessional voicemail script, on the other hand, can do the exact opposite. a good personal voicemail greeting Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost YOUR voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep. Challenges never cease to arise when managing a business. Voicemails are often one of them, as they are rushed or fall under the shadow of more pressing matters. However, a salon voicemail greeting is an unmissable opportunity from a marketing point of view. It is as important as your website, your social media presence or even your logo! It’s part of your shopfront. Make sure it’s working FOR you, not AGAINST you. “So I start by talking as if I answered the phone, like: ‘Hello? It’s Tom, is anyone there?’” Fulton eagerly explained, unaware that no one would ever stay on the line long enough to hear the voicemail he spent his entire Sunday crafting. “But that’s the joke — it’s just a message! Whoever is calling will be talking to no one,” Fulton added, failing to recognize that he was actually talking to no one since his message would never be played back by anyone under any circumstances. Be Part Of Our Story! how to get a funny voicemail message Mappa GeolocalizzataLista Impianti Impianti 6×3 Mega Impianti Area RiservataContatti BenchXeroBrandfolderGocoDialogueAwsPaddleAirshipRydooMural << Browse All Categories >> › Website Listing › Citibank › Mailchimp › Capital One › Ebay › Dropbox Search can i make a voice message my ringtone Funny voicemail messages are an excellent alternative for people that are looking for that unique touch for something that seems really mundane. If you’re having trouble coming up with your own then you can check out some of the funny voicemail messages below. funny greetings for birthday So my dad called me and I missed the call, on my voice mail greeting I say to leave your name and number and I'll get back to you. Contact Us Hello… my name is (your name)’s refrigerator. He/she isn’t home right now to take your call. To leave him/her a message, speak very slowly so I can stick the message with the help of these refrigerator magnets. Send Message Create an account. I agree to the license terms. Sign Up You already have an account? Login here. business voicemail greetings mp3 Never mind the fact that what she described was the content of LITERALLY EVERY VOICE MAIL IN HISTORY. Name, hello, please call back. Not really a boatload of charm on display. To fail this test, a guy would have to leave a message that said: 'No greeting. This is man. I don't remember you. End communication. — Aziz Ansari An obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face." | Privacy Policy | About Us | Contact Us | Sitemap | Famous Quotes & Sayings / Funny Voicemail Quotes List of top 12 famous quotes and sayings about funny voicemail to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs. Top 12 Funny Voicemail Quotes ALSO also, to answer the glaring question: Should you even have seller calls handled by voicemail rather than live answered? (my opinion and thoughts on this may surprise you). Then, the email would say: “Ms. Smith, Fluffy’s next appointment is on Monday the 12th at 1:00. Please click to reply/confirm this appointment at [name of practice]. If we do not hear from you in the next five business days, this slot may be given away. Thank you.” "Does that mean the number of incoming calls and voice mails are also in massive decline in the world of veterinary medicine in favor of electronic communication? Probably not." “Hello, this is Morgan Freeman. I wish I could tell you that Morgan Freeman was available to take your call. I wish I could tell you that, but this is no fairytale world. Morgan Freeman is gone now; to where I cannot say. But if you’re lucky, I might just call ya’ back. Get busy leavin’ your message.” 10 rows · Voicemail Greeting Sound Files. Bill Crystal / Fernando Lamas – You look marvelous. New: … 1. 1-603-413-4124: Calling Santa. Ever thought of reaching out to Santa months before the Christmas period? Well, this line allows you to talk to the man in charge of deciding who gets what for Christmas. ! business voice message sample funny voicemail answering messages best voicemail recording Close Project funny and professional voicemail greetings This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful. “Glad you called, but I just am not able to entertain you right now. However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Don’t forget to leave your name and number, so I don’t get mixed up with different offers, and go to the wrong restaurant. Bye!” Hi this is Sonny and Attie's machine. Medicare didn’t send us enough money this month so we are out robbing the liquor store. If this is the police we are just napping. Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world. hello. This is (your name). I can get to the phone right now i just dont want to. Website: http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/03/08/make-a-positive-impression-with-your-personal-voicemail-greeting/ voicemail pro record greeting funny voicemail ringtone sample business voice message greetings Close Project how to greet customer in call center Website: https://www.mightycall.com/blog/the-best-services-to-record-a-voicemail-greeting-for-business/ how to call a numbers voicemail Hello, you've reached 555-1552, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities, and obscenities inside the car at all times. Enjoy your ride. Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it. 9. Outgoing Message with Samuel L. Jackson Treatment. Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording. Practice your spiel so you can speak with authority. This lets the caller know how confident, qualified, and prepared you are. The goal is to sound like you’ve been doing this for years, not a few minutes. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touchtone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touchtone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system. 13. [Very fast] Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message funny voicemail greetings to say standard business voicemail greetings funny greetings on the phone Close Project having a funny voicemail message is a good idea because it shows the employer your sense of humor 2. The Mystery. A mysterious voicemail leaves the listener wondering what the call is about and plays to our fear of loss and FOMO. What if something’s wrong w/ my account? Relationship Love Texts for Him Love Texts for Her Dating Advices Marriage Advices Breakup Etiquette & Advice Social Etiquette Tips Sympathy What to Say Motivational Words Thank You Messages Good Excuses Words to Describe Instagram Captions Ice Breaker Questions Comebacks Sassy Nicknames Funny & Inspirational Quotes Celebration Good Luck Wishes Congratulations Messages Birthday Wishes Holiday Greetings Wedding Tips Anniversary Wishes Workplace Work Tips Career Advice Job Interview Tips Quit Job Business Email Writing Parent & Kid Words to Parents Words to Kids Words to Friends Video I like to think I’m my own comedic genius. My greetings don’t have profession quality sound but they get the job done. Try exercising your creativity before using canned comedy. Campus Life Off Campus Opinion Politics Science & Technology Sports Business Cinema Corner In the end, it’ll be down to you or your team to record and customize their own personal greeting. Depending on the overall culture and identity of your business, it might make sense to engage customers with a friendlier, warm and fun holiday greeting – while others might benefit more from clean cut, down to business explanations of schedule changes. , to get you started, here are a few quick templates to build off of. Feel free to tailor, change, customize or completely start from scratch! These could of course be used for your own individual office greeting, or your entire company’s greeting. Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone. Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Learn about a little known plugin that tells you if you're getting the best price on Amazon. Some individuals like to create funny voicemail messages for people to hear when they call. A private voicemail box enables a person to receive telephone messages when the phone cannot be answered. Clear answers for common questions FAQs About Us Contact Us Testimonials Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions Copyright 2003 - 2021 personal voicemail greeting messages how to say happy passover greeting good voice message ideas Close Project 7 best business voicemail greetings 10Hello, this is [your name]. I’m probably at home just avoiding someone I dislike. A funny way of telling someone you’re avoiding them without sounding offensive or having to pick their calls. Please speak very slowly, make it short, make it sweet, and I’ll deliver the message to them. Using other household appliances as stand-ins for the message center is cute and funny. This voicemail will warn callers not to bring drama, so you can save yourself the trouble of having to hear a message that was about to spoil your day. If, on the other hand, your clients work with a number of team members, you might consider hiring a voiceover professional to record your greeting. While a recording with a voice actor is an extra expense, the result often outweighs the cost. 9. 21 Professional Voicemail Greeting Examples. Easy To Use — Manage Your Program Through Our Web Interface Or Mobile App. Professionally Recorded Greeting — Every Step Of Your Program Can Be Recorded By A Member Of Our Recording Staff, Free Of Charge. Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time. The best resumes stand out because of choice of words, not because of qualifications. Everyone who... What’s more annoying than being unprepared? Doing business with someone who is. In other words, don’t wing it — practice your script, speaking slowly and annunciating each word. best voicemail welcome message funny voicemail four old ladies funny voicemail greetings clean Close Project what to say for personal voicemail greeting For those with voicemail greetings that get changed about as often as a new president is elected, know that this is doing a serious disservice to the caller-recipient relationship. It signals to callers that the business is anything but an authority, most likely not very detail oriented, and has questionable overall credibility and competency. Those aren’t traits that any business wants to associate itself. No more fear! You’re so going to be a gracious master of voicemails. Here are the best tips to help you leave a voicemail message that’s friendly, gets the needed information across, and ends before the dreaded “time’s up” beep! Archives September 2021 (1) February 2020 (1) April 2018 (1) December 2017 (1) January 2017 (3) December 2016 (1) September 2016 (3) August 2016 (1) July 2016 (1) May 2016 (1) April 2016 (4) February 2016 (4) October 2015 (1) March 2015 (1) February 2015 (1) December 2013 (1) September 2013 (1) January 2013 (1) November 2012 (2) October 2012 (6) September 2012 (2) August 2012 (6) July 2012 (6) June 2012 (9) May 2012 (2) April 2012 (7) March 2012 (5) Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it. Not many might consider it, but your business voicemail greeting is probably more important than you think. Now, we probably all hate recording those generic voicemail greetings at home or on our cell phones. But when it comes to our business – a generic, lifeless robotic greeting probably just won’t cut it. And thanks to the software that comes with your business VoIP solution, it is easier than ever to change your greetings on the fly. Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me. example business voicemail greetings what is the proper greeting for eid al fitr voice message sample for business Close Project X