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You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments

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Answering Machine Wav Sounds. Here you can find some of the funniest free answer machine messages from your favorite cartoon and movie celebrities. Download them to replace your standard answering machine message (leave a message after the tone, etc). Comical messages are a must to impress your friends on either your landline or mobile! 01 - Rap.
Funny Answering Machine MessagesFunny Answering machine messages, excuses for being away from the phone, and phone pranks! Location: Clean Jokes > Answering machine messages Machine related Answering message 01 Answering message 03 Answering message 05 Answering message 07 Answering message 09 Answering message 11 Answering message 13 Answering message 15 Answering message 17 Answering message 19 Answering message 21 Answering message 23 Answering message 25 Answering message 27 Answering message 29 Answering message 31 Answering message 33 Answering message 35 Answering message 37 Answering message 32 Answering message 34 Answering message 36 Aha! Jokes > Random Answering Machine Messages Instead of text-based answering machine messages, use audio messages! Visit the funny audio division for almost one hundred different audio answering machine messages. Copyright © 2014 Aha! Jokes LLC. Reproduction in part or whole strictly prohibited. Use subject to terms. .

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I have a confession to make: I haven’t recorded a new voicemail greeting since 2014. In the past four years, I (hopefully) have become more articulate, poised, and self-assured. But hear my voicemail recording, and you’d think I was still new to the work world, a little unsure of myself — and probably not an authority. Obviously I need toupdate it. And if you haven’t changed your voicemail greeting in over a year, you’re likely in the same boat. After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever’s listening to it to continue the relationship. A relatively unprofessional one — like mine, for instance — does the opposite: It encourages prospects, recruiters, and potential connections to run in the other direction. With that in mind, I’ve written 18 unique voicemail greetings for every situation. Pick your favorite, practice a few times, then record your new voicemail.
If, on the other hand, your clients work with a number of team members, you might consider hiring a voiceover professional to record your greeting. While a recording with a voice actor is an extra expense, the result often outweighs the cost.

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The next step is very important and you need to get it right. Say your phone number two times very slowly so the person has enough time to write down your number as they are listening to your message the first time.
Funny; Funny Voicemail Funny Voicemail sorry but nobodys available to answer you call at this time.if you'd like to leave a message please wait for the beep, then press #, then so on..great doe anyone know how to have the phone say the name as it is on the contact list? At 6/4/10, 4:47 AM, *Anonymous* said

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On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide “play by play” of the incident.

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Smith suggests the following sample messages for other typical voice mail messages a veterinarian or veterinary practice team member might need to leave. If you’re calling to see how a pet is doing after a recent medical encounter/treatment: Voice mail – “Ms. Smith, this is Dr. Vet just checking in on Fluffy. If you have any questions, please contact our office at 212.555.1234.” Email – “Ms. Smith, this is Dr. Vet just checking in on Fluffy. If you have any questions, please contact our office at 212.555.1234.” If you’re calling with a pet’s medical results or treatment decisions: Good news voice mail – “Ms. Smith, this is Dr. Vet, and you will be glad to hear all of Fluffy’s testing came back fine. She is good to go until her next appointment.” Bad news voice mail – “Ms. Smith, this is Dr. Vet, and we have the results of Fluffy’s tests. Please call our office at 212.555.1234 so that we can discuss these results.” Tips for connecting with clients

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    Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings.

    Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings.
    Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. Morgan’s voice has been immortalized in dozens upon dozens of voiceover projects. Allow him to greet your callers and prompt them to leave a message for you.

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    This short, quick message tells him how you feel, shows he's on your mind, and makes him start thinking about you. All Rights Reserved.However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny voicemail greetings bring you a smile. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Just kidding, buddy.

    Hi, I am a machine. Why do you hate talking to me? I never hurt anyone. Can we talk after the beep?
    Read the SMS.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.

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    Funny Voicemail Greetings. Thank you for calling Santa's workshop. Santa can't come to the phone right now, and the elves are out back barbecuing Blitzen. After the tone, please leave your Christmas list and maybe we'll get back to you!Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your

    Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? If so, scroll for some really funny voice-mail greetings, which will surely bring a smile on your, as well as your caller's face.
    1. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently unavailable, but leave your name and number and I’ll return your call as soon as I can.

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    You have reached the office of [Business Name]. All of our representatives are currently busy. However, if you choose to do so, you may leave a brief message, including your name, number, or email, and we’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for calling [Business Name].

    All companies should have professional voicemail greetings. It’s important that all voicemails are professionally-read and sound consistent across each department. This provides the caller with an elevated experience, setting them up for success on every customer interaction.
    Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

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Hi, this is Jim. Sorry I can't take your call but I'm playing my guitar too loud to hear the phone ring. Please leave me a message and I'll call you back at the end of Van Halen-1.

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“So I start by talking as if I answered the phone, like: ‘Hello? It’s Tom, is anyone there?’” Fulton eagerly explained, unaware that no one would ever stay on the line long enough to hear the voicemail he spent his entire Sunday crafting. “But that’s the joke — it’s just a message! Whoever is calling will be talking to no one,” Fulton added, failing to recognize that he was actually talking to no one since his message would never be played back by anyone under any circumstances.

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No one should be calling during the holidays, and yet some people do. When you’re out for the holidays, create a voicemail greeting that communicates the cheerfulness of the season while still staying professional.

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