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Funny; Funny Voicemail Funny Voicemail sorry but nobodys available to answer you call at this time.if you'd like to leave a message please wait for the beep, then press #, then so on..great doe anyone know how to have the phone say the name as it is on the contact list? At 6/4/10, 4:47 AM, *Anonymous* said

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The greeting that you leave on your phone in the form of a voice mail can be very important as it is the first contact that anyone calling has with you or the company that you work for. Therefore it is important that your voicemail greeting is drafted in such a manner that it does not make the caller squirm in embarrassment, or even raise their eyebrows in sheer wonder. Proper voicemail etiquette demands that a good voicemail message convey information like whom the caller is calling, where they are, when the caller can expect to be called back, and what to do if the call that is being made is of an urgent nature.
1. The Welcome Greeting. This is the first greeting callers hear when they call your company. Sample Scripts: “Thank you for calling [company name].” “Thank you for calling [company name]. .

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You can’t always get to the phone when clients, partners, investors, or colleagues call you. When this happens, a professional voicemail greeting helps you make a positive impression and tells them what to do next. There are a variety of ways to convey your message. If you’re not sure what type of message to record for your own voicemail box, here’s a definitive guide to get you started.
No23: This is Dan Cassidy's answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

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When your business is closed for vacation or holidays, it’s imperative that you set appropriate expectations for a callback and to provide an alternative coverage option, if available. The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly.
Here's 10 humorous 'School Answering Machine' messages (author unknown) that we've turned into a high quality poster that you can download and print out. You are welcome to put it up on your Teacher's Room wall for everyone to see. 'LIKE' it on Facebook, tweet about it, email it to your fellow teachers - share the joy!

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Hi. This is David. I’ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I’m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up I’ll play my messages. Please leave one.

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No one likes to be on hold. Make that experience enjoyable for your customers and clients. I can voice custom messages, with music in the background, talking about your business or products while they wait. Reassure them that someone will be with them soon.

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    Always keep in mind the people who will be listening to your professional voicemail greetings. What type of tone and information resonates with them?

    Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them. Would you like to write for us? Well, we're looking for good writers who want to spread the word.
    5. Ooma. Ooma voicemail app is among best voicemail app android providing high degree of flexibility. The app offers its users with high-quality voicemail and all-around phone services from anywhere.

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    Has using headphones made you think about their working? To know how headphones work, read on.

    6 hours ago · Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. the way I send all of your calls straight to voicemail. 04:42 PM - 12 Sep 2012 i can crank with my hand to create power to
    1. 911, what’s your emergency? Imagine you saying this when a call comes in. Just don’t let the other person say anything and barge in. It will make the other person laugh out loud.

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    Funny e-mail forwards, jokes, silly stuff and more. Visit often for the latest funny e-mails!

    Business transition voicemail greetings communicate important information resulting from changes to your business activities driven by things like a new address or remodeling. Keep it light and simple!
    No14: Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can. Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO. Bless you, my child, and have a nice day.

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    24. "Thank you for calling [company]. We're closed for [holiday] from [date] until [date]. Please leave your message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a happy holiday season!"

    I find myself the most inspired when listening to soft upbeat music, and this morning the tune was one of the most recent Mac Miller tracks. This might seem irrelevant right just now, but some of the lyrics were amazingly applicable to the danger of using a salon voicemail as your receptionist.
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No16: Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

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Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done.

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I’m Sorry, We’re Sorry (They are all very sorry). Reminds me of Brion Gysin (Try track 3, 4, and 5).

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“Hey! You’ve reached us here at [XYZ company]. All our team is currently out of the office for the holidays. We’ll be back to work on [date] well-fed and therefore eager to speak with you!

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