Humor also leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation—which subsequently weakens sincerity and authority. A caller can be very turned off by merely misinterpreting your joke. Why take this risk? Additionally, this could even cause callers to question your character. Say, for example, the president of a company’s mobile phone voicemail greeting was funny. What’s to happen if the caller didn’t like or get the joke? What if they found it offensive? Another scenario is that a caller is reaching out to you for the first time—i.e. they have no idea regarding your personality. What next? The point is, with this type of greeting, humor is bound to be more divisive so just avoid it altogether. c. Poorly Pacing Your Message and Bad Time Management: Don’t speed through your message. Speak clearly so callers know what to include in their message and when to leave the message. At the same time, don’t drag your message out. No one wants to sit through a diatribe. Just get to the point clearly.
As a bonus, here is an example of our own holiday voicemail greeting here at OpenPhone:

Avoid too many promises – Avoid promises you can not keep – in this case, dates and timeframes for when you will 'definitely' return calls.
Your voice mailbox has six types of greetings. The two greetings most users set are: The Standard greeting that callers hear before they leave you a message. The Alternate greeting that tells callers that you will be away from work for an extended period of time, such as when you take a vacation. Press 4, Setup Options. Press 1, Change Your Greeting. Press 4 to play all your greetings.