9.) Bem-vindo a John Doe. Infelizmente, não há ninguém no escritório no momento. Por favor, deixe seu nome e número de telefone após o sinal. Vamos ligá-lo de volta o mais rápido possível.
But even that has its limits. "Voicemail transcription still requires customers to leave a message, and they're just not doing that," Boalt says.

With social media, blogs, email marketing, and yes…voicemail greetings, businesses have lots of opportunities to make an impression. But it’s important to make the right impression. Callers will make inferences on what you say and how you say it, and you don't always get another chance to make a positive impact. You want prospective customers to leave a message. You want them to get a great first impression of your business. So, you need professional voicemail greetings. Here’s how you get them…
Humor also leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation—which subsequently weakens sincerity and authority. A caller can be very turned off by merely misinterpreting your joke. Why take this risk? Additionally, this could even cause callers to question your character. Say, for example, the president of a company’s mobile phone voicemail greeting was funny. What’s to happen if the caller didn’t like or get the joke? What if they found it offensive? Another scenario is that a caller is reaching out to you for the first time—i.e. they have no idea regarding your personality. What next? The point is, with this type of greeting, humor is bound to be more divisive so just avoid it altogether. c. Poorly Pacing Your Message and Bad Time Management: Don’t speed through your message. Speak clearly so callers know what to include in their message and when to leave the message. At the same time, don’t drag your message out. No one wants to sit through a diatribe. Just get to the point clearly.