“Good afternoon. You have reached the office of [your name]. I will be out of the office beginning on [date] and will be returning on [date]. Please leave a brief message with your contact information, and I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I return on [date]. If this is an emergency or you need to speak with someone before I return, please contact [name of colleague/supervisor], [their job title], at [their phone number].”
Humor also leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation—which subsequently weakens sincerity and authority. A caller can be very turned off by merely misinterpreting your joke. Why take this risk? Additionally, this could even cause callers to question your character. Say, for example, the president of a company’s mobile phone voicemail greeting was funny. What’s to happen if the caller didn’t like or get the joke? What if they found it offensive? Another scenario is that a caller is reaching out to you for the first time—i.e. they have no idea regarding your personality. What next? The point is, with this type of greeting, humor is bound to be more divisive so just avoid it altogether. c. Poorly Pacing Your Message and Bad Time Management: Don’t speed through your message. Speak clearly so callers know what to include in their message and when to leave the message. At the same time, don’t drag your message out. No one wants to sit through a diatribe. Just get to the point clearly.

You have stated your calls-to-action. Now you have to make sure they know the process to follow. If you want your customers to leave their voicemail messages, you have to tell them from the start, “Kindly leave your name, purpose of your call, and how to contact you.”
5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number].