22. "Hi, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. We're closed until [date]. Please leave your name and phone number and someone will return your call ASAP. Have a great [New Year's, Fourth of July, etc.]."
Humor also leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation—which subsequently weakens sincerity and authority. A caller can be very turned off by merely misinterpreting your joke. Why take this risk? Additionally, this could even cause callers to question your character. Say, for example, the president of a company’s mobile phone voicemail greeting was funny. What’s to happen if the caller didn’t like or get the joke? What if they found it offensive? Another scenario is that a caller is reaching out to you for the first time—i.e. they have no idea regarding your personality. What next? The point is, with this type of greeting, humor is bound to be more divisive so just avoid it altogether. c. Poorly Pacing Your Message and Bad Time Management: Don’t speed through your message. Speak clearly so callers know what to include in their message and when to leave the message. At the same time, don’t drag your message out. No one wants to sit through a diatribe. Just get to the point clearly.

I am not a voice talent, and I hate the sound of my own voice. Every time I lose my cell phone (daily), I call it from another line to help myself find it. And every time I do this, I wish my voicemail message sounded…different. I’m always reminded that I should sit down and rerecord it, so it makes a more professional first impression.
Believe it or not, voice mail greetings like that exist and it’s not just large companies giving customers a long list of instructions to punch their way through in hopes of talking to a real, live person. It’s job seekers and small business owners not thinking about the image they’re portraying when they note a phone number in their contact info.