You know that your callers are making inferences about your business and brand. If you want your voicemail recording to leave a positive impression, smile when you record it! Research shows that smiling affects how we speak, and listeners are not only able to identify that people are smiling, but also what the intent is of the smile based on voice intonation alone.
26. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m either on another call, on a top secret mission to Mars, or I’ve just stepped away from my desk for the day. Leave a message after the tone and I’ll call you back tomorrow or in about seven months.

The above section details types of phrasing to avoid; however, it doesn’t detail what users should NOT say on their greeting. Though this is a bit loaded, as there are hundreds of combinations of things one shouldn’t say, there are some key components users should ALWAYS avoid. a. Forget About Slang: You should strive to be as professional and welcoming as possible in your greeting. While this may steer you towards using slang, in an attempt to make callers comfortable, it’ll most likely work against you. As a professional, your demeanor, tone, and speech should be clear cut and well articulated. Using slang undercuts this and works against you. b. Don’t Even Think About Profanity: This is a no-brainer. Never, under any circumstances, curse in your greeting EVER! c. Keep Your Sentences Clean, Don’t Ramble: Introduce yourself and give your caller specific direction. Avoid long diatribes detailing tangent thoughts. Keep it simple and quick. d. Always Return Your Calls: It’s important for callers to feel they are valued. Nothing dissolves this quicker than a greeting that doesn’t stress this. For example, “I’ll call you when I can,” “If I don’t return your call, please call back”—these phrases are terrible and completely destroy any good will you may have with a caller.
5. You have reached [your business]. We are currently closed. Our normal hours of operations are from [hours] [days]. We are closed on [days]. Please leave us a message with your name and number and we will return your call when the office reopens. You may hang up after leaving your message or press the [key] for additional options. Thank you for calling.