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Website: https://behavioralhealthconnection.net/blog/3-ways-improve-your-therapist-voicemail-script

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My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.
Remember to watch out for ambient noise on your end of the call as well. Train signals, traffic, or even outside conversations can be very distracting to your callers and project an unprofessional image. Don’t forget the beep. Every millisecond – yes, millisecond – between the end of your greeting and the beep is time callers could potentially drop the call. That’s why the anticipated beep should sound the moment your greeting is finished. Leaving lengthy, silent gaps may cause your customers to wonder if they’ve been disconnected. Don’t give them the opportunity to hang up waiting to hear that affirmative tone. Check and then recheck your greeting. After you complete your outgoing voicemail message, play it back to verify you’ve said everything you intended to say. Then take it a step further and dial in to experience the greeting for yourself, and be mindful to contemplate the greeting from the customer’s perspective. .

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The answering machine, answerphone or message machine, also known as telephone answering machine (or TAM) in the UK and some Commonwealth countries, ansaphone or ansafone (from a trade name), or telephone answering device (TAD), is used for answering telephones and recording callers' messages.
Visual voicemail on a Skype for Business desktop phone, Skype for Business app, or the Lync client for Mac.

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(Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep
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30. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently out of the office and will return on [X date]. If your call requires urgent attention, please call [Name] at [phone number] and they’ll be happy to assist you. If not, leave a message and I’ll return your call when I get back.

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These business voicemail greetings will do the trick. 10. "Hello, you've reached [X company]. We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in …

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    If you remember the changes we made for voicemail, we ended up with the following for John’s extension:

    After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever's listening to it to continue the relationship.
    Our final sample voicemail greeting for business is the one to use when you want to discourage someone from leaving a message, for example, when you are fielding inquiries from job applicants. We hope that you have found these voicemail greetings for business informative, if …

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    * Add an auto attendant, virtual receptionist or e-receptionist with menus so callers can press a key to connect their call to a partner, assistant or any other phone number.

    Most businesses require a very basic day greeting and main menu, and a night menu. However, your specific needs will be dependent on not only your business needs, but on the capability of your phone system. We provide a library of auto-attendant / voice menu / IVR scripts that you can use, but for specific information about your capabilities you will need to work with your phone system manufacturer or provider.
    The pet care service providers get calls from pet owners at odd hours or when they are busy attending to their chores. So, resorting to voicemail services is necessary for such businesses. Below is an excerpt from a voicemail for a pet service entity:

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    Instead of leading with tired old lines like 'Your call is important to us', brush up on your telephone etiquette and start your voicemail with a thank you.

    Organize tasks into projects to visualize your work as a board, list, or timeline. Calendars & Timelines Hyper Collaborative Powerful & Flexible Beautifully Designed
    Hey, not here right now and not really interested in who this is, I’m out on a wilderness retreat learning about the importance of making connections.

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    Instead of having the typical “You’ve reached ABA Corporation. Please leave your message after the beep”, make it unique and interesting.

    By submitting this form, you agree that ActiveCampaign may send you promotional emails about our products and services. You can unsubscribe at any time, free of charge. View our Privacy Policy.
    “Hi, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m away from[date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I’ll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day.” “Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] — or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling ‘Are red spiders poisonous,’ or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won’t be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I’ll get in touch then.” “Hey there, this is [your name] from [your company]. I’m out of the office until [date]. In the meantime, please direct your inquiries to [coworker’s name] at [email address]. [He, she] can also be reached at [phone number]. Thank you.”

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39 Humorous and Witty Voicemail Greetings. Oct 28, 2015. Jan 7, 2014 by Brandon Gaille. Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time.

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4.) Keep your voicemail message to two points. If you need to share more information, then say in your voicemail that you’re going to send the person an e-mail message with the rest of the details. “… I’m calling to share that we have finalized the … and lastly, that we know you’d like to meet at 9:00 AM as we discussed. However, is Tuesday or Wednesday better for your team’s schedule? ….”

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2. Emphasized Importance. Making your caller feel important will make them more likely to leave a message for you. This opens the line of communication and helps keep them tethered to your business.

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