Humor also leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation—which subsequently weakens sincerity and authority. A caller can be very turned off by merely misinterpreting your joke. Why take this risk? Additionally, this could even cause callers to question your character. Say, for example, the president of a company’s mobile phone voicemail greeting was funny. What’s to happen if the caller didn’t like or get the joke? What if they found it offensive? Another scenario is that a caller is reaching out to you for the first time—i.e. they have no idea regarding your personality. What next? The point is, with this type of greeting, humor is bound to be more divisive so just avoid it altogether. c. Poorly Pacing Your Message and Bad Time Management: Don’t speed through your message. Speak clearly so callers know what to include in their message and when to leave the message. At the same time, don’t drag your message out. No one wants to sit through a diatribe. Just get to the point clearly.
If your auto-attendant starts with the main menu of options, it needs to be clear and have the option to speak with a human-being if the question isn’t answered by the list of options. Try something like this:

You can play a voice message at different speeds and pause/resume the message, using desktop client visual voicemail, or by dialing into their voicemail. Pressing a certain key on your phone controls how you can hear the voicemail: Read your voicemail transcription
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future….