19. "Hello, you've reached [your name]. I'm currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] — or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling ‘Are red spiders poisonous,' or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won't be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I'll get in touch then."
“Thanks for calling the desk of (insert your name) at (insert your company name). I’m either on a call or away from my desk but if you leave your name, phone number, and the reason for calling, I’ll return your call as soon as possible. Thank You.”

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Thank you for calling {insert company name}. Please choose from the following options: If you’d like to speak with the operator, press 0. For customer service, press 1. For the sales department, press 2. For accounts payable, press 3. To listen to our staff directory, press 4. To leave us a voicemail message, press 5. Press 6 if you’d like us to repeat this menu. 4. When they call outside of business hours.