20. Hi, you’ve reached [your name]’s phone. I’m busy making deals or rock climbing [replace with your personal hobbies], so leave your contact information and a brief message so I can call you back when I have a free moment.
The simple truth is that you need to be more aware of what you’re leaving for other people to hear. Sure, this doesn’t always register as a priority for users, but it’s never too late to reassess your greeting. a. Reading/Speaking in the Imperfect Tone: Tone is absolutely everything. Users don’t want to come off as being too nice, as it sounds insincere, or being too terse, as it can be interpreted as being rude. That being said, striking the right balance is absolutely essential. Your greeting exists as its own entity, and therefore, it should NOT rely on callers’ familiarity with you. Instead, it needs to appeal to the masses. As such, your inflection, i.e. the way you state your name and directions, needs to be both welcoming and firm. b. Injecting Humor & Insincerity: While humor/light heartedness can be welcoming, it can also convey a sense of informality, insincerity, and ultimately unprofessionalism. Why, because you’re not there to lend your humor or to contextualize. Instead, you’re assuming the caller has a working knowledge of your personality to ground the message. Though this might not sound like it’s all that terrible—it can be detrimental. As stated above, one should NEVER rely on a caller’s familiarity with you. Instead, aim to appeal to the masses. Humor is ultimately subjective, meaning not everyone has the same tastes; therefore, someone is bound to be turned off by a quirky or off-color remark. While implementing a light-hearted or even tongue and cheek tone can work, it’s just a really bad idea.

Hello. You have reached [Insert employee name here] in the [Insert department name here] office at UNI. I will be out of the office from [insert day of the week, month, date] through [insert day of the week, month, date]. Please leave a message and I will return your call on [insert day of the week, month, date]. If you require assistance prior to [month, date], hang up and dial our main departmental number at 273-[insert phone number here]. The main departmental voice mail will be checked daily on Dec. 28, 29, 30 and 31. Return calls will be made if an immediate response is needed.
Have you ever called a company’s support line just to be confronted with an unsympathetic and confusing attendant menu? Or tried to reach a representative, but pressing the “0” key does nothing?