The simple truth is that you need to be more aware of what you’re leaving for other people to hear. Sure, this doesn’t always register as a priority for users, but it’s never too late to reassess your greeting. a. Reading/Speaking in the Imperfect Tone: Tone is absolutely everything. Users don’t want to come off as being too nice, as it sounds insincere, or being too terse, as it can be interpreted as being rude. That being said, striking the right balance is absolutely essential. Your greeting exists as its own entity, and therefore, it should NOT rely on callers’ familiarity with you. Instead, it needs to appeal to the masses. As such, your inflection, i.e. the way you state your name and directions, needs to be both welcoming and firm. b. Injecting Humor & Insincerity: While humor/light heartedness can be welcoming, it can also convey a sense of informality, insincerity, and ultimately unprofessionalism. Why, because you’re not there to lend your humor or to contextualize. Instead, you’re assuming the caller has a working knowledge of your personality to ground the message. Though this might not sound like it’s all that terrible—it can be detrimental. As stated above, one should NEVER rely on a caller’s familiarity with you. Instead, aim to appeal to the masses. Humor is ultimately subjective, meaning not everyone has the same tastes; therefore, someone is bound to be turned off by a quirky or off-color remark. While implementing a light-hearted or even tongue and cheek tone can work, it’s just a really bad idea.
Generally, people that call and leave messages are more likely to be ideal customers of your business. Your voicemail message is often not much more than a formality to the person calling.

A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you're in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there's a chance they won't appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead.
To avoid mumbling and bumbling, write out a greeting script before you record your message. Also, remember to record your message in a quiet location. Background noise and static are perhaps the clearest signs of an unprofessional business voicemail greeting. Thank you for calling. This is Tiger Electronics, and I'm the general Manager. Please leave a message. If you're calling for parts, call Larry. Thank you. Hi, this is Sissy O'Connor, the General Manager of Tiger Electronics. Please leave your message with your name and number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. If you're calling to exchange parts, dial Larry Davenport at Extension 432. Thank you.