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Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you.

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I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handi- work, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you’re from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
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Here are a few sample voice mail greetings to get you started: Standard Voice Mail Greetings. Normal Greeting (Without pager notification) "This is (name) of (company). I'm currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and I …

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Cool Telecom smart voicemail allows you to record separate greetings to reflect whether you are currently on a call or if you're simply away from your desk.
Similar to your phone greeting, your voicemail greeting should state your private practice name and instructions on what information to leave on the message (such as name, number, and the best time to call back). Include instructions on what callers should do in case of emergency.

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Home | Directory | News | Newsgroups | Tools | Resources | Glossary | Site Map Featuring Voice Mail Information, News, and Resources Voice Mail Services | Voice Mail Systems | Voice Mail Related | Free Voicemail Sample Greetings Sample Voice Mail Greetings A Word About Recording Your Greetings Your voicemail greeting is very important as it can be the first contact people have with you or your company. Your greeting should let the caller know who they have reached, what your status is (out of the office, in the office but in meetings, etc), when the caller can expect to receive a call back, and instructions on what to do if the call is urgent. If you have set up a personal operator, you can direct your callers who need to speak to someone immediately, to "Press 0" to be connected to one of your assistants or colleagues. Another way to make sure that your callers are informed while you are out of the office is to use a Temporary Absence Greeting. For example, if you are going to be out of town on vacation for a week, you can record a Temporary Absence Greeting informing callers that you will be unable to return their call until you return from vacation. Write down your greetings before you start. It is easier to read from the page than to try and ad lib. Here are a few sample voice mail greetings to get you started: Normal Greeting (Without pager notification) "This is (name) of (company). I'm currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and I will contact you as soon as possible. Thanks." "Hi, this is (name). I�m sorry I cannot take your call right now. Please leave a detailed message at the tone along with your name and telephone number. I �ll return your call as soon as I return. Thank you." "This is (name) of (company). I'm currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and your message, and I will contact you as soon as possible. If this message is urgent, press 3 to have me paged. Thanks." Normal Greeting (With Live Connect) "This is (name) of (company). I'm currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and your message, and I will contact you as soon as possible. If this is urgent and you need to speak with me immediately, please press 1 to have the voice mail locate me. Thanks." "This is (name) of (company). I'm currently on my line and unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and your message, and I will contact you as soon as possible. Thanks." "Hello, you have reached the office of (name) . I�m presently on another call and am unable to speak with you personally. If you will leave your name and telephone number, I will return your call. Thank you. "This is (name) of (company). I'm currently away from my desk and unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and your message, and I will contact you as soon as I return. Thanks." "Hello, you have reached the office of (name) . I�m presently out of the office or away from my desk. If you will leave your name and telephone number I will return your call as soon as I return. Thank you. "Thanks for calling, this is (name). Today is Friday and I am working from our corporate office. Should you need to reach me immediately, please call (123) 456-7899. Otherwise, please leave me a message and I�ll return your call as soon as possible." "Hello, this is (name). I�m unable to answer your telephone call. I am out of the office from (day) to (day) and will not be checking my voice mail. If you require assistance in my absence please contact (name2) at extension (ext. #). Thank you. "This is (name) from (company). I have left the office for the day. Please leave me a message and I will return your call as soon as possible." Sample �Business Hours� Greeting Script: Thank you for calling XYZ Company. If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to reach, you may dial it now. Press 1 for sales. Press 2 for customer service. Press 3 for the billing department. Press 8 to access our fax on-demand system. Press 9 for a company directory, or press 0 for the operator. Sample �After Hours� Greeting Script: Thank you for calling XYZ Company. We are currently unavailable to take your call. Our business hours are nine to five, Monday through Friday. If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to leave a message for, you may dial it now. Press 1 for sales. Press 2 for customer service. Press 3 for the billing department. Press 9 for a company directory, or hold to leave a message for the operator. If this is an emergency, please enter 911 now to be connected with the after-hours support personnel. More info Copyright © 2012 Everyvoicemail.com ~ 5089 Bristol Industrial Way, Ste C ~ Buford, GA 30518 ~ 678.318.1300

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In short, more often than not, voicemail greetings feel bleak and boring to callers. If you’re a business, boredom is an awful way to start off the conversation with potential customers. Since the attention span of a human being fluctuates around 8-10 seconds, filling them up with a standard voicemail greeting is the worst idea you can have.

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    If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here’s some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself.

    This message is for Ms. Smith. This Laura from Dr. Tracy’s office calling about your last appointment. We’d like to share some details regarding your visit with you. You can return my call at 444-444-4444 anytime, Monday through Friday, from 8:00 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Have a good day.
    1. Access your digital voice mailbox through your smartphone's touch screen. On an iOS phone, tap on the Phone application and then look for a square in the bottom right hand corner of the screen that reads Voicemail. Tap this button and your voice messages will appear on the screen. Click on any of the messages and press Play to hear the message. On an Android phone, a voicemail icon will appear at the top left of your screen in the Status area if you have an unread voicemail. Swipe your finger down from the top of the screen to view your notifications and then press New Voicemail. Your phone will dial the voice mailbox.

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    Having a dedicated emergency contact will help make sure anything important that comes up is taken care of. Another option is directing callers to a separate answering service.

    Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
    I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on

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    Work Voicemail Greetings. These work voicemail greetings are for the work phone that you and only you use. They’re highly effective because they help you establish a relationship straight from the voicemail. Or they help you share an …

    Here are some helpful links to help you record voicemail greeting that is clear and professional. Record your phrases for recording a great voicemail greeting here. Record yourself and compare it with a native speaker. Hear Georgie giving helpful feedback to other students on their voicemail greetings.
    A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future….

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    Try to avoid unnecessary phrases that only make your greeting longer, like “leave your name and number and what you’re calling about.” Most people know what “leave a message” means.

    6. Full Waiting Queue Message. What the caller hears when the waiting queue is full. Sample Scripts: “We are currently experiencing high call volume. Please leave a message with your name and phone number and we will return your call as soon as possible.”
    Your message is a period of time that they are forced to wait through in order to do what they called to do in the first place — relay information to you.

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You may think your voicemail message is professional. But when you listen back it could sound rushed or shaky. Listen to it regularly to see if changes are needed.

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9.) Welcome to John Doe. Unfortunately, there is no one in the office right now. Please leave your name and phone number after the tone. We will call you back as soon as possible.

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Creative and funny voicemail messages are great for less formal businesses but may be inappropriate for formal ones. However, if creativity is part of your job description, be sure to sprinkle a dash into your voicemail. Check out these creative and funny voicemail greetings. Top 7 business voicemail greetings. 1.

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