If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here’s some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself.
Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.
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Voice mail allows business professionals access to messages -- even when they're away from the office. A call to any business or home used to mean one of three things -- an answer, a busy signal or endless, unanswered ringing. Increasingly, it now means an encounter with voice mail.
If you need more information about our professional voicemail greetings, contact us now and let’s get things started.
13Please repeat the captcha below [utter captcha] to confirm you are not a robot before being allowed to leave a message at [your name]’s voicemail. This is a great copy of the internet’s way of cracking down on spam and robots. Callers will be left repeating the captcha unknowingly. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave me a voicemail, then that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will call you. This is a classic line from the movie Taken (without the violence). Your callers will always get startled at the threat initially but will surely leave them in jitters as they drop a message in your voicemail. This is a classic trick and one that is both funny and frustrating. Watching people continue to speak as if you’re there is funny. Make sure they know when to leave a message though. You may also like 10 Great Templates: How to Say Thank You for Your Order to Customers
If you need more information about our professional voicemail greetings, contact us now and let’s get things started.
(Posted because last time I mentioned thinking about doing this, a lot of you said WOW YES I SHOULD DO THAT THING-- so here is the wording I settled on, but it'd be great to know what you decide on if you do something similar!)
8.( مرحبا بكم في قسم خدمة .JohnDoe للأسف، كل الخطوط مشغولة في الوقت الراهن. يرجى ترك رسالة بعد سماع الرنة مرفوقة باسمكم ورقم هاتفكم. سوف نعيد الاتصال بكم مرة أخرى في أقرب وقت ممكن. نتمنى لكم يوما جميلا.
Hey, not here right now and not really interested in who this is, I’m out on a wilderness retreat learning about the importance of making connections.
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9.) Bienvenido/a a John Doe. Lo sentimos, en estos momentos no hay nadie en nuestras oficinas. Por favor, déjenos un mensaje con su nombre y número de teléfono tras escuchar la señal. Le devolveremos la llamada tan pronto como sea posible.
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry,
What you need to record creative and funny voicemail greetings. Creative voicemail greetings are a terrific engagement and personalization tool for business. But to make them work, you need a business phone system that makes recording, tweaking, and uploading voicemail greetings simple. MightyCall provides such an answer for businesses.
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Website: http://www.communityserv.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/CSI_HIPAAPolicy_LeavingMessAnsMach.pdf
20. Hi, you’ve reached [your name]’s phone. I’m busy making deals or rock climbing [replace with your personal hobbies], so leave your contact information and a brief message so I can call you back when I have a free moment.
Whether you’re out for the day or are off for the week, the first rule of an out of office voicemail greeting is: let callers know when you’ll be back! You’ll save them the frustration of continuing to call and yourself the hassle of listening to redundant voicemails. It’s also a good idea to set the expectation of whether you are answering messages while you’re away, and who they can reach for assistance in your absence.