(in british accent) oh my god nooooo you’ve made me spill my tea you trotter !!!!! *running footsteps and random sscreaming* leave a message ill listen and call back when Im not busy beating my bloody siblings with a shoe.
The above section details types of phrasing to avoid; however, it doesn’t detail what users should NOT say on their greeting. Though this is a bit loaded, as there are hundreds of combinations of things one shouldn’t say, there are some key components users should ALWAYS avoid. a. Forget About Slang: You should strive to be as professional and welcoming as possible in your greeting. While this may steer you towards using slang, in an attempt to make callers comfortable, it’ll most likely work against you. As a professional, your demeanor, tone, and speech should be clear cut and well articulated. Using slang undercuts this and works against you. b. Don’t Even Think About Profanity: This is a no-brainer. Never, under any circumstances, curse in your greeting EVER! c. Keep Your Sentences Clean, Don’t Ramble: Introduce yourself and give your caller specific direction. Avoid long diatribes detailing tangent thoughts. Keep it simple and quick. d. Always Return Your Calls: It’s important for callers to feel they are valued. Nothing dissolves this quicker than a greeting that doesn’t stress this. For example, “I’ll call you when I can,” “If I don’t return your call, please call back”—these phrases are terrible and completely destroy any good will you may have with a caller.

Length – if your callers typically wait 2 minutes at a time, then at least 2 minutes of programming should be the goal. The idea is to ensure the callers don’t hear repeated messages every time they call. A typical on-hold message is 4-8 minutes in length.
Type of project (business voicemail, text to speech, voice recognition, help lines, etc);Number of words in the finished/approved text;Number of files;File format preferred (mp3, wav).