Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: 3.) Don’t expect a call back. Its not gonna happen so you might as well forget about it. OK, thanks, bye! Hi…sorry, but my therapist says I should spend more time “finding myself” than messing with a cell phone. So leave a message after my sad sobs. Hello , you have reached _____. The reason I haven’t picked up is because YOU HAVE BEEN REJECTED. Thank you. Hello, maybe I actually picked up the phone but I’m bored so I’m pretending to be the voicemail. Hey, don’t be such a critic! Would you rather I pretend to be a sofa cushion? (pause) Sorry, I can’t get to the phone right now because I’m pretending to be a sofa cushion, but leave a message and maybe I’ll get back to you when pigs fly. Hey this is _____ and if you hear this, I either think you’re crazy and I don’t want to talk to you, or I’m trapped under something heavy. Leave a message.
“Hi, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m away from[date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I’ll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day.” “Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] — or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling ‘Are red spiders poisonous,’ or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won’t be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I’ll get in touch then.” “Hey there, this is [your name] from [your company]. I’m out of the office until [date]. In the meantime, please direct your inquiries to [coworker’s name] at [email address]. [He, she] can also be reached at [phone number]. Thank you.”
